Traumatic Brain Injury, Groundhog Day and Defining Why?

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to have you around my table. Thank you for making the decision to stop by to visit with me. Although I had no idea how the traumatic brain injury that I experienced when I was 10 years old was impacting my life,  I struggled to understand the “why” of my experience. In my quest to find peace with my experience, I set out on a crusade to root out the reasons why I found myself in an ongoing conundrum with each new day. I found myself, as Bill Murray found himself in the movie, Groundhog Day; being unable to change the script of his existence. As Bill Murray had a spiritual awakening, when he became sick and tired; I also had a spiritual awakening when I became sick and tired.

“No one can go back and make a brand new start, my friend, but anyone can start from here and make a brand new end.” Dan Zadra

When I reached a point in time, I started to become aware of the impact that living with the impact of the traumatic brain injury that I experienced when I was 10 years old was having upon my life. Although I looked normal, the impact of the invisible disability could no longer be denied. My awareness brought with it a lot of pain. The pain of my needing to deny the impact of a brain injury (to not upset the “apple carts”) was superseded by my need to confront my denial. The pain of confronting my denial and moving through the grieving process helped me to begin to understand and define the “why” of my traumatic brain injury and my invisible disability. In June of 2009 I wrote an article to share what I discovered and helped me to make sense of why.

I would like to share that article with you. Let me know if the article helps you to understand, define and make sense of why in your life. Thank you.

Traumatic Brain Injury — Making sense of “Why?”

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. Thank you for deciding to stop by to visit with me. In the last day or so I received several emails with a similar question, Why? I believe why is a very good question. I asked that question about God, myself and my situation for many years. As I look back on my recovery process, I believe “Why?” became an essential part of my healing process. Why gave me the capacity to move beyond my pain, my disillusionment, disappointment and discouragement.Why gave me the ability to move beyond what I could not understand. Why gave me the ability to make sense of my reality.

Why became an essential part of my healing process, because why helped me to grieve. Why helped me to question and challenge the messages that Denial gave to me. Why helped me to process the Anger that I had towards what I could not understand — but realized that I could not change — once I started to come out of my denial. Why helped me to sort through the process of Bargaining or the “what if” stage of my grieving process — as I attempted to change my reality.

Why then helped me to survive what I considered to be the dark night of the soul. Why allowed me to linger in depression until I was able and ready to surrender to / accept my reality. Why empowered my process as I reached a place of surrender and Acceptance. Why then empowered my process and gave me the motivation to look for solutions. Why helped me to realize that I was not helpless or hopeless because of what I could not change.

Why helped me to move beyond my disillusionment, disappointment and discouragement. Why helped me to realize that I did not have to be alone in my process and that I could ask for help.

Why then taught me that my circumstances were never meant to keep me down, but that they were instead designed to build me up. Why taught me that I was being led in the direction of my destiny. Why taught me how to empower my process. Why gave me the motivation to learn from the experiences of my reality. Why prepared me to take advantage of the opportunities that became available to me. Why taught me to do the footwork and let go of the outcomes.

Why taught me that I no longer needed to buy into the notion that I was a victim of my reality. Why gave me the emotional fortitude to execute tenacity and perseverance — when giving up and giving in would have been much easier to do. Why taught me that I have a future and a hope. Why reinforced the reality that I will fulfill the plan and purpose for my life. Why pointed and continues to point me in the direction of my destiny. Why gives me hope. Why uses my limitations and deficits — for my good.

Why encourages me to consider infinite possibilities. Why motivates me to look for ways that work for me. Why empowers me to stay free of “groundhog day (s)”.