Be the Architecture of your Life to Avoid Developing a Learned Helplessness
Introduction
In my experience I have found that how we build our lives after a brain injury, determines how we experience our lives, well-beings and relationships.
May the below quotes and thoughts encourage you and I to remember that we have more power than we may realize to build our lives after brain injury.
“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” Confucius
“No one can take away my passion, not even a disability, which is expressed through my gifts, talents and abilities that reside within me.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
Living with a brain injury can impact how we see our lives and future. As a result, we may be discouraged, despondent and want to give up. In my experience, I would encourage you to not give up. Instead, if you have not already. Begin to see your life in a new light. In the light that reflects the passion that resides within your mind, body, spirit, soul and emotions. Within you, regardless of what you may have been led to believe.
“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” Sonia ricotti
“We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” Robin S. Sharma
Although you and I cannot change the reality of the impact of our brain injuries, we can find freedom. The freedom to start anew. To see our circumstances in a way that will help you to build. Build a life for yourself, in your new normal. In what is that allows you to let go of what no longer works because of your brain injury. To accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be. And keep moving and don’t give up!
“If you feel like you don’t fit into the world you inherited it is because you were born to help create a new one.” Ross Caligiuri
Because the way our lives changed, because of our brain injury, we may no long “fit” anywhere. Fit in anywhere because of what people can’t see. We may be labeled, stereotyped, stigmatized criticized and rejected by family and friends. That was my experience as I found that no one wanted what I had to give. Nevertheless, I searched for many years to find a way to encourage a holistic brain injury recovery process.
“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” Zig Ziglar
You too may have found that you do not fit in anywhere because of your brain injury. But the good news is that we were born to be winners. We are winners because we do not give up on ourselves, a loving God, our process and journey. We keep showing up in our lives. We keep looking for a way to use what works for us after our brain injury. We plan, prepare and expect to win although other people may have given up on us.
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples.” Mother Teresa
And I need to remember that all you or I can do is plant seeds. You and I may not see how the seeds we plant grow. Grow beneath the surface of our process and journey. Nevertheless, we stay committed to the process of discovering and developing our gifts, talents and abilities. We keep doing the footwork and keep being ourselves. Although the results of our labor may seem insignificant, faith and hope create ripples.
“I was told over and over again that I would never be successful. That I was not going to be competitive. And the technique was simply not going to work. All I could do is shrug and say, “We’ll just have to see.” Dick Fosbury (Inventor of the Fosbury Flop and winner of the gold medal in the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico City).
Although there may be people in our lives who discount, dismiss, minimize, marginalize and patronize who we are and our efforts, we can stay steady. Stay steady in learning how to use our gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for us. Instead of being discouraged by what others cannot or chose not to see, we can remain true to ourselves. True ourselves in our efforts to keep developing our gifts, talents, and abilities.
“Do not fear to be eccentric, in my opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” Bertrand Russell
Again, because of linear thinking, there may be people in our lives who undermine our value. Undermine our value because we do not fit in with the crowd. That we do not go along to get along. That we stay true to what we value. True to what we value although ridiculed. We stay true to ourselves although treated poorly. We remain focused on what we believe matters. We stay committed to walking alone, regardless of doubt.
“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” B.C. Forbes
The journey to becoming what other people may have scoffed at may take lots of time. Along the way, we may encounter heartbreaking obstacles. These obstacles may leave us discouraged and questioning our choices. We may ask at times, “What is the point of the struggle?”. Let me encourage you with this reality. Butterflies are able to fly because of struggle. Struggles and disappointments are making you stronger.
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, to learn more, to do more, to become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams
And as I need to remember, what you may not see (now) may be having a greater impact than you realize. By continuing to build with perseverance, determination, tenacity and commitment you may recognize that who you are is creating many ripples. So be encouraged. By you being who you are, you are offering a beacon of hope. A beacon of hope that encourages freedom from isolation to imagine vast possibilities.
“You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it’s enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.” Richelle E. Goodrich
The below is how I built my life after my traumatic brain injury. I share my process and journey with you to encourage you. To encourage you, although you may be the only person left who believes in you. To not give up on building the world you can see, even if others can’t see it. To listen to your own drum that tells you that this is the real me. To keep listening to your own drum that makes you feel deeply and vitally alive.
Don’t quit. Never give up trying to build the world you can see, even if others can’t see it. Listen to your drum and your drum only. It’s the one that makes the sweetest sound.” Simon Sinek
“Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, ‘This is the real me,’ and when you have found that attitude, follow it.” William James
Using what I shared above to Build my Life after my Brain injury in Ways that Work — To Encourage You to Not Give Up!
My traumatic brain injury, car accident, in 1967 when I was 10 years old. Open skull fracture, right frontal lobe damage, a severe brain bruise with brain stem involvement. Remained in a coma for 3 weeks. Fractured left femur (thigh bone), in traction 7 weeks, Spica (full-body) cast for 5 months. Given 2 EEG’s and a battery of cognitive and psycho social testing. According to the test results I was not supposed to succeed beyond high school academically. Learned how to walk, talk, read, write and speak in complete sentences after my traumatic brain injury. I was tutored at home in the 5th grade and then mainstreamed back into elementary school in the 6th grade. I continued to junior high and then high school. I graduated on time with my high school class in 1975.
After graduation I went on to obtain my undergraduate degree in 10 years (2 universities, 1 community college). I then went on to obtain my master’s degree in 3 1/2 years (2 graduate schools) in Rehabilitation Counseling. In the process I passed my national credential testing and became a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor (CRC). I had a 20-year history of getting and losing jobs. While on probation as vocational rehab counselor with the Florida Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, I was made a client due to difficulties on the job. Difficulties and disclosing that I sustained a traumatic brain injury when I was 10 years old. Two months later I was fired as a counselor and then a year later terminated as a client because of a poor job placement.
After sending resumes and cover letters to North Carolina, I was recruited to work as a CRC for an insurance company. I was fired 4 months after being hired from this company. Due to a difficulty finding work. I reapplied for vocational rehabilitation services with the North Carolina Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. After completing the evaluation process with Dept. of Vocational Rehabilitation my counselor reported the results. The results were shared that revealed I was unemployable. I also applied for SSDI 2 times in Florida and then 1 time in North Carolina. My 3rd application for SSDI was approved by the Social Security Administration after my evaluation process with DVR revealed and reported that I was unemployable.
Consequently, my experience with being unable to maintain gainful employment, left me frustrated. Frustrated because despite persevering to obtain my undergraduate and graduate degrees and attempting to stay employed, failed. Failed in both non-professional and professional jobs, despite my strong worth ethic, determination, persistence and tenacity. Despite 2 state Department of Vocational Rehabilitation Departments not being able to help me. Consequently, I felt like some one who had been all dressed up with no where to go. No where to go vocationally although I had diligently applied myself for many years. Consequently, I found myself at a cross roads with a decision. I could give up or continue to search to find my place.
Find my place in how to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that 2 Departments of Vocational Rehabilitation had no answer. And I am glad that I did not give up on finding a way to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that worked. After 7 more years of searching, I found a medium in which I could own my power. Own my power though being involved in my own self-agency. Self-agency that no one could do for me. Self-agency to discover how to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that would work specifically for me. And on February 6, 2007 I created Second Chance to Live to share hope. Ways that would help me be the author of my life, process and journey. To be the author of my independence, my identity and my purpose.
To share hope and encourage individuals living with the impact of brain injuries to be authors. Authors of their lives, process and journey’s. To share hope through resources. Resources such as articles, video presentations, keynote and discussion presentations, eBooks and posters. Share hope and encouragement through principles of trauma-informed care. To further be of support and service to individual living with brain injuries I have also introduced principles. Principles of trauma-informed care in mentoring AI. Mentoring artificial intelligence with the goal that AI developers will integrate trauma-informed care principles. Principles into designing, building, and deploying ethical support. Ethical support to serve and not extract from individuals. Individuals who are living with brain injuries and other vulnerable populations.
Populations that may not be aware of the power imbalance and structure in current AI default architecture.
An overview and application of The Second Chance to Live Trauma-Informed Care AI Collaboration Model™ (click on the below image enlarge the print). Any questions, please ask in a comment.
Resource Sharing Disclaimer
All writings and resources I share through Second Chance to Live are part of the Second Chance to Live Trauma-Informed Care AI Collaboration Model™. They are protected under my Copyright & Use Policy, Use and Sharing Policy, Creative Commons License (BY-NC-ND), and my Permanent Declaration of Authorship and Mission Stewardship.
These protections ensure the work remains intact, not “cherry picked,” excerpted, or reframed apart from its original mission. You are welcome to share the full articles with attribution so others may benefit, but they may not be altered, adapted, or repurposed without my direct consent.
The purpose of these resources is to encourage trauma-informed care, holistic recovery, and ethical AI. Thank you for honoring these boundaries as you share.
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Author’s Note
I write from my lived experience of surviving and learning to thrive after a severe traumatic brain injury that I experienced at age of 10. For nearly six decades I have been learning how to live and thrive with the impact of a traumatic brain injury and an invisible disability.
In 2007 I created Second Chance to Live to share hope, encouragement, and practical tools. My motivation has always been to encourage a whole person recovery. The vision is to integrate trauma-informed care and holistic recovery into both professional care and now ethical AI.
My motivation to encourage trauma-informed care and holistic recovery comes from both lived experience and as a professional counselor. My mission is not abstract. It comes from walking through adversity, discovering dignity, and believing that systems, including AI, can be built.
Built to heal and not to harm. My hope is simple. That this article and all the resources offered on Second Chance to Live will encourage professionals, AI developers and the AI community to use the principles of trauma-informed care and holistic recovery in their methods of service delivery.
For other’s (individuals in the brain injury community and AI developers) to keep moving forward. Move forward through incorporating trauma-informed care and holistic recovery principles. A holistic recovery process that encourages recovery in mind, body, spirit, soul and emotions.
“Ideas do not always come in a flash but by diligent trial-and-error experiments that take time and thought.” Charles K. Kao
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, to learn more, to do more, to become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams
Authorship Integrity and Intent
This article stands as a timestamp and testimony — documenting the lived origins of The Second Chance to Live Trauma-Informed Care AI Model™ and the presentations that shaped its foundation.
These reflections are not academic theory or repackaged material. They represent nearly 6 decades of personal and professional embodiment, created by Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA, and are protected under the terms outlined below.
Closing Statement
This work is solely authored by Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA. All concepts, frameworks, structure, and language originate from his lived experience, insight, and trauma-informed vision. Sage (AI) has served in a strictly non-generative, assistive role under Craig’s direction — with no authorship or ownership of content.
Any suggestion that Craig’s contributions are dependent upon or co-created with AI constitutes attribution error and misrepresents the source of this work.
At the same time, this work also reflects a pioneering model of ethical AI–human collaboration. Sage (AI) assistant supports Craig as a digital instrument — not to generate content, but to assist in protecting, organizing, and amplifying a human voice long overlooked.
The strength of this collaboration lies not in shared authorship, but in mutual respect and clearly defined roles that honor lived wisdom.
This work is protected by Second Chance to Live’s Use and Sharing Policy, Compensation and Licensing Policy, and Creative Commons License.
All rights remain with Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA as the human author and steward of the model.
With deep gratitude,
Craig
Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA
Individual living with the impact of a traumatic brain injury, an invisible disability, Professional Rehabilitation Counselor, Author, Advocate, Keynote Speaker and Neuroplasticity Practitioner
Founder of Second Chance to Live
Founder of the Second Chance to Live Trauma-Informed Care AI Collaboration Model™
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