Scroll down this page below my perspective for a list of links to articles. Click on the article title and the article will open for you.
Relationships after Brain Injury and Stroke present a set of challenges.
Challenges that often sabotage individuals and their relationships.
My Perspective
Relationships create challenges. Relationships after brain injury and strokes create different challenges. Challenges in the way that individuals relate to themselves, to family, friends and society at large. What compounds these challenges is the history that each individual brings into the relationship. History in terms of what was learned and experienced growing up in their family of origin. Behaviors and coping skills.
Family of Origin History
History in terms of what they experienced and how they interacted in past relationships. If there was dysfunction in those family of origin relationships, that learned dysfunction will be brought into other relationships. Such dysfunction can continue to undermine and sabotage relationships unless new behaviors are learned and used in relationships. Apart from awareness and acceptance Individuals may find themselves blamed.
The Impact of Denial
Once an individual experiences a brain injury or a stroke another dynamic enters into their relationships. Denial. Once external wounds have healed and the impact of the brain injury becomes invisible, denial enters relationships. Denial of the impact of the brain injury and the stroke. Now, in addition to the individuals unsettled family of origin relationship history, the individual is faced with new challenges of an invisible disability.
My Own Experience
For many, many years I had no idea that my life was being impacted by the open skull fracture and brain injury that I sustained when I was 10 years old. Once my external wounds healed, I looked “normal”. When asked, friends would tell me that there was something different about me, but they could not put their “put their finger on it.” I could not “put my finger on it” either because my and other people’s denial kept it hidden.
The result from adopting the denial of my reality was alienation. Alienation from myself and alienation from other people. Alienation from myself for not being able to “get it right” and alienation from other people for not “getting it right”. In response, I strove all the more while experiencing a tremendous amount of shame. Shame for feeling that I not just make mistakes, but that I was a mistake.
But thank God that I did not give up on the process. Give up on the process, a loving God or myself.
What I Discovered about Denial and Relationships
What I discovered is that people often need to stay in denial for several reasons. People stay in denial because they believe we are making excuses. People stay in denial because to come out of their denial would mean that they would need to make changes and feel feelings. Changes that they may not know how to make or want to make. Feelings that they may not know how to feel or want to feel as they relate to us in our reality.
Nevertheless, the reality was and it that I am the only one who needed and needs to accept and own my reality. I was and am the only one who could and can do anything about how my life is being by my history, my brain injury and my invisible disability. I am the only one who could or can do anything to change how my life. Change how my life has or is being impacted by my brain injury, my invisible disability and my “history”.
I am the only one who can change to find freedom from my history to have functional relationships.
The Buck Stops with Me – I Am Responsible
I was and am the only one who could or can work a program of recovery to change my behavior and how my “history” impacts me. I was and am the only one who could or can change the way that I relate to myself and to other people. I was and am the only one who could or can stop participating in behaviors that no longer work for me. I was and am the only one who could or can do anything to make my life, well-being and my relationships better in time. I am the only one who could or can stop sabotaging my life and relationships.
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” Wayne Dyer
“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” Aidous Huxley
What was and is important to recognize that living with a brain injury and an invisible disability creates new challenges. Challenges that I need to be aware of as I interact with people and society at large.
To Grow in Self-Awareness, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem and Self-Respect I needed to Understand
The Beginning of Understanding that Helped me to Stop Fighting with Myself
My Struggle Living with an Invisible Disability Article Series
Understanding Individuals, I Interact with as a Brain Injury Survivor and an Individual Living with an Invisible Disability.
- The first group involves people who are completely oblivious to my being a traumatic brain injury (tbi) survivor or for that matter do not care.
- The second group of individuals who hear that I am a tbi survivor, but because my disability is invisible believe that I am somehow using my invisible disability as an excuse.
- The third group of individuals knows that I have am a tbi survivor and that my brain injury has affected me in some manner, but still want me to function as an individual without a brain injury.
- The fourth group of individuals thankfully realize that I am a traumatic brain injury survivor and that my brain injury interferes with my ability to work with people, especially with those in the first three groups.
“If you want to improve your self-worth, stop giving other people the calculator.” Tim Fargo
Through my experience I have found that it is a waste of time and energy to try and change people’s minds. By accepting that reality, I am able to grow in self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-esteem and self-respect.
“Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s okay. You’re here to live your life, not to make everyone understand.” Banksy
Through accepting that I am powerless to change anyone’s mind, I am free to explore what may be limiting me. Among needing to grow in my awareness and acceptance of my brain injury and invisible disability, I needed to understand how my “history” impacts my life, well-being and relationships. Below are my 12 eBooks in which I share what helped me to understand and overcome my history.
“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” Zig Ziglar
In the below 12 eBooks (4 of which at video presentation eBooks) I share what I discovered about my history. My history in respect to how “it” impacted my life and relationships living with a brain injury and an invisible disability.
I would invite you to read through, or watch and listen to the articles in my eBooks. By doing so, you may find that my history may give you insight (s) into how your history impacts you life and relationship after your brain injury and stroke.
Click on the below links to read the PDF file of each eBook.
Below the PDF files of the eBooks are links to Download each of the eBooks for free. Click on the links and follow the instructions to download each of the eBooks.
Living with a Brain Injury eBook Putting the Pieces in Place 60 Video Presentations (PDF file)
Being Your own Hero through Overcoming Adversity – Tool for Rebuilding Your Life eBook
Living with a brain injury and Building Self-Esteem and Self-Acceptance eBook
Living with a Brain Injury, Making Sense of Why and What is my Destiny? eBook
Living with a Brain Injury, What Helped Me to Stop being my Enemy and Create a life for Myself eBook
It’s Never too Late to Create Hope eBook
Moving Forward Following a Brain Injury eBook
Living with a Brain Injury and Taking Care of Ourselves eBook
Having a Relationship with Myself and Other People after a Brain Injury Video Presentations eBook
Celebrating Success after a Brain Injury Video Presentations eBook
Avoiding the Trap of Our Brain Injury e Book for PDF File
Don’t Let Anyone Tell You (Including Yourself) that… Video Presentation e Book
In my desire to be of service and make the information available, I decided to offer my 12 eBooks as a free download.
To download each of the eBooks, you may click on each of the below links.
Living with a Brain Injury eBook Putting the Pieces in Place 60 Video Presentations
Living with a brain injury and Building Self-Esteem and Self-Acceptance eBook
Living with a Brain Injury, What Helped Me to Stop Being my Enemy and Create a Life for Myself eBook
Living with a Brain Injury, Making Sense of Why and What is my Destiny? eBook
Being Your own Hero through Overcoming Adversity — Tools for Rebuilding Your Life eBook
It’s Never too Late to Create Hope eBook
Moving Forward Following a Brain Injury eBook
Living with a Brain Injury and Learning to Take Care of Ourselves
Having a Relationship with Myself and Other People After a Brain Injury Video Presentations eBook
Celebrating Success after a Brain Injury Video Presentations eBook
Introducing the “Avoiding the Trap of Our Brain Injury e Book
Don’t Let Anyone tell You (Including Yourself) that…Video Presentation e Book Download
Below are Individual articles that have helped me to have better relationships after my brain injury.
- Brain Injury, Stress, Anxiety, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Zoom Presentation
- 12 Ways to enhance our Lives, Well-beings and Relationships after Brain Injury Video Presentation (Revised)
- Having and Maintaining Friendships and Relationships after a Brain Injury
- Being Mistreated by Someone Close to Us after a Brain Injury
- Strategies that Help when Dealing with Difficult People
- Traumatic Brain Injury, Invisible Disabilities and Abandonment
- Emotional Hangovers and What Helps Me to Avoid Them Slideshow Episode 357
- A Message for Parents — Whose Shame are you Carrying?
- Relationships with Myself and Other People after Brain Injury Video Presentation eBook Download
- Brain Injury, and Learning to Manage Anxiety in Social Settings Video Presentation
- Brain Injury — Why do I Feel so Misunderstood and Shunned? Video Presentation
- Isolation and Intimacy
- Understanding Relationships after Brain Injury
- How to Stop Pushing People Away Video Presentation
- How to Stop Pushing People Away
- Resentment and The Power of Forgiveness Video Presentation
- Resentment and The Power of Forgiveness
- How I found to be at Peace with Myself and other People Video Presentation
- How I found to be at Peace with Myself and other People
- Being of Service — Am I Helping (Empowering) or Enabling (Perpetuating)?
- Brain Injury, Stress, Anxiety, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 1
- Living with an Invisible Disability — Accepting Ourselves when Other People Can’t
- Offering a Resource of Hope and Encouragement to Brain Injury Survivors and Families
- Moving from Fear to Faith — Making Peace with God
- Taking Care of Myself — How to Empower my Relationships Video Presentation
- Taking Care of Myself — How to Empower my Relationships
- Second Chance to Live Video Presentations on Buildings Healthy Relationships
- Second Chance to Live Articles on Building Relationships
- Understanding the People we Interact with as Traumatic Brain Injury Survivors — Win / Win Outcomes Part 4 Video Presentation
- Understanding the People we Interact with as Traumatic Brain Injury Survivors — Respecting My Limits Part 3 Video Presentation
- Understanding the People we Interact with as Traumatic Brain Injury Survivors — Learning to Accept Our Reality Part 2 Video Presentation
- Understanding the People we Interact with as Traumatic Brain Injury Survivors Part 1 Video Presentation
- Not Judging my Insides with Other People's Outsides Video Presentation
- Not Judging my Insides with Other People's Outsides
- Angry and Stuck — What to DO? Video Presentation
- Angry and Stuck — What to DO?
- How to Not Take On Other People's Insecurities Video Presentation
- How to Not Take On Other People's Insecurities
- Relationships, Conflict and Peace Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5 Video Presentation
- Relationships, Conflict and Peace Part 1 and Part 2 Video Presentation
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Stress, Anxiety and Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 3 and Part 4 Revisited Again Video Presentation
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Stress, Anxiety and Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 1 and Part 2 Revisited Again Video Presentation
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Stress, Anxiety and Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 1 Revisited Again
- Critical, Judgmental and Antagonistic — What to Do? Video Presentation
- Critical, Judgmental and Antagonistic — What to Do?
- Why We Need One Another — What We Create Video Presentation
- Why We Need One Another — What We Create
- How to Stop Over Reacting Video Presentation
- How to Stop Overreacting
- Living with a brain injury — Not letting your Past spoil your Present Part 1 Video Presentation
- Living with a brain injury — Not letting your Past spoil your Present Part 2 Video Presentation
- Living with a Brain Injury and Finding Freedom from Isolation Part 1
- Living with a brain injury — Not letting your Past spoil your Present Part 2
- Living with a brain injury — Not letting your Past spoil your Present Part 1
- Living with a brain injury and Whose Shame are you Carrying? Video Presentation
- Living with a brain injury — Whose Shame are you Carrying?
- Living with an Invisible Disability — The Consequence of Denying My Reality — Part 2
- Living with an Invisible Disability — The Consequence of Denying My Reality — Part 1
- Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury, Feelings of Isolation and Connecting with Other People
- Approval Seeking, People Pleasing, Anxiety and Hope
- Understanding the Power of Detachment Video Presentation
- When People Choose To Distance Themselves From Me Part 1 and Part 2 Video Presentation
- Have You Ever Asked, "What is Keeping Me Stuck?" Part 1 and Part 2 Video Presentation
- Have You Ever Asked, "What is Keeping Me Stuck?" Part 2
- Have You Ever Asked, "What is Keeping Me Stuck?" Part 1
- Second Chance to Live and the Rose Moore Radio Program
- When People Choose To Distance Themselves From Me Part 2
- When People Choose To Distance Themselves From Me
- The Three Rules Revisited — Consequences Video Presentation
- Don't Talk, Don't Trust and Don't Feel Video Presentation Part 2
- Don't Talk, Don't Trust and Don't Feel Video Presentation Part 1
- How to Move Forward — Make Peace with the Past Video Presentation
- How to Move Forward — Make Peace with the Past
- A Very Important Question — Whose Shame are you Carrying? Part 2
- A Very Important Question — Whose Shame are you Carrying Part 1?
- Some thing to Consider — Who is limiting you?
- Making Peace with God and Learning to Trust Video Presentation
- Traumatic Brain Injury — My Struggle Living with an Invisible Disability Part 1 Revisited
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Stress, Anxiety and Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 1 Revisited
- Making Peace with God through understanding His Heart toward Me— Part 3 Revisited
- Making Peace with God through understanding my Journey — Part 2 Revisited
- Making Peace with God To Learn How to Trust — Part 1 Revisited
- Traumatic Brain Injury and Critical People
- Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury and Feeling Baffled and Confused Part 3
- Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury and Feeling Baffled and Confused Part 2
- Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury and Feeling Baffled and Confused Part 1
- Being Led Beyond My Understanding
- Traumatic Brain Injury and the Holidays
- Living with a brain injury and Feeling Restless, Irritable and Discontent
- Brain Injury, Stress, Anxiety, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 4
- You Make a Difference in My Life — Thank you!
- Brain Injury, Stress, Anxiety, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 3
- Brain Injury, Stress, Anxiety, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 2
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Stress, Anxiety and Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Part 1
- Traumatic Brain Injury, Fatigue, Anxiety, Anguish and Depression Part 2
- Behind Prison Doors
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Relationships, Conflict and Peace Part 5
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Relationships, Conflict and Peace Part 4
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Relationships, Conflict and Peace Part 3
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Relationships, Conflict and Peace Part 2
- Relationships, Conflict and Peace Part 1
- Being at Peace with Others and Myself Part 2
- Being at Peace with Others and Myself Part 1
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Why do I React the Way I do? Part 4
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Why do I React the Way I do? Part 3
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Why do I React the Way I do? Part 2
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Why do I React the Way I do? Part 1
- My Reactions / My Reality
- My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability Revisited– Part 4
- My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability Revisited – Part 3
- My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability Revisited— Part 2
- My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability Revisited — Part 1
- Traumatic Brain Injury, Family System Roles and Learning to Thrive — Part 4
- Traumatic Brain Injury, Family System Roles and Learning to Thrive — Part 3
- Traumatic Brain Injury, Family System Roles and Learning to Thrive — Part 2
- Traumatic Brain Injury, Family System Roles and Learning to Thrive — Part 1
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Whose Pushing my Buttons? Part 3 of 3
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Whose Pushing my Buttons? Part 2 of 3
- Traumatic Brain Injury — Whose Pushing my Buttons? Part 1 of 3
- Making Peace with my Past
- Understanding the Power of Detachment
- The Power of Detachment
- Why I am Free to Trust
- Second Chance to Live — Taking things Personally
- Second Chance to Live – Freedom from Rejection
- Second Chance to Live – Why Do I React?
- Traumatic Brain Injury and the Dance
- Traumatic Brain Injury and Approval
- Second Chance to Live and the Holidays
- Traumatic Brain Injury and Parents
- Traumatic Brain Injury and the Double Bind
- Having an Invisible Disability – The Consequence of Denying Reality — Part 2
- Having an Invisible Disability – The Consequence of Denying Reality — Part 1
- My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability – Part 4
- My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability — Part 2
- My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability — Part 1
- Making Peace with God and Learning to Trust Part 3
- Making Peace with God and Learning to Trust Part 2
- Making Peace with God and Learning to Trust Part 1
- Displaced/Unresolved Sadness — Why You May be Feeling Depressed?
- Living with a Brain Injury, A Message to Parents and Hope
- The Three Rules Revisited — Consequences
- Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, and Don’t Feel
- Who is limiting you?
- Self-righteousness
- Live and Let Live
- Whose stealing my…
- Who Am I? Part 1
- Whose life are you Living?
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