Several years ago I wrote an article that I need to keep in mind. I want to share that article with you. I hope the material helps you as the information has helped me. In my experience, I discovered that my past resentments, disappointment, and discouragement reeked havoc with my peace of mind and my quality of life. When I became sick and tired of being sick and tired, about being sick and tired I realized that something needed to change. Doing the same thing over and over again was not helping matters. So, when the student became willing, the “teacher” appeared and I began a process.
I would invite you to read my article and let me know if what I share helps you, my friend. Thank you.
Making Peace with my Past Posted by Second Chance to Live on October 11, 2008
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Earlier this evening I attended a support group meeting. The topic that one of the members brought before the group for discussion involved dealing with flashbacks. In the context of the discussion the term flashbacks was used in relationship to how the individual reacts to present day events and circumstances. When the time came for me to share how I have dealt with flashbacks I shared my experience strength and hope with the group.
In my experience, I found that my flashback (s) were simply memories of events that occurred in my past. Although my flashbacks are triggered by present day events, circumstances, or people I discovered that the power of those flashback (s) was connected to the disappointments, resentments, and losses from my past. Through my recovery process, I discovered that my flashbacks could help me to make peace with my past. Through my experience, I discovered that I was being given wonderful learning opportunities to make peace with my past through the way that I reacted to the unresolved losses, resentments and disappointments of my past.
In the process, I discovered that my triggers — to present day events, circumstances, and people — were in actuality teachers given to me as gifts so that I could stop sabotaging myself and my life.
When I began to recognize that my reactions to present day events and circumstances were given to me for my good and not for my harm, I found a new freedom. Instead of being frustrated by the triggers that reminded me of my unresolved pain, disappointment or loss I started to look for the reasons why I was reacting to various circumstances, events and people. Through my process — my triggers — I discovered that my reactions to people, places, and things were more about me than about anyone else. Consequently, I started to be more present for myself.
“With my awareness, I made the decision to learn from my reactions — triggers — instead of projecting my irritability, restlessness, and discontent on to those triggers.” Craig J. Phillips
With my experience, I discovered that I could process and own my discomfort instead of projecting the responsibility for my discomfort onto my triggers. In the process, I discovered that I could be accountable to and for my reactions without absorbing the blame, shame or fault for the way that I reacted to my triggers. I also discovered that I no longer needed to project my reactions — through shame, blame or fault — on to my triggers.
Through being accountable to and for my reactions — to my triggers — I have been able to stop reacting to people, places, and things and to make peace with my past. In the process, I have been able to change the way in which I relate to my world.
For a plan that has helped me to make peace with my past and may help you to make peace with your past too, please read my 2 part article by clicking on the below links:
To watch and listen to the video presentation of this 2 part article in video format, please click on the below links:
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