After our brain injuries, we may have a difficult time connecting with ourselves and with other people. As a result, we may find ourselves isolating from both ourselves and other people. Isolating from Ourselves Several days ago, a reader sent me a comment with several questions. I thought about those questions and answered this individual. The answers to the questions … [Read more...]
Relationships following a Brain Injury
Relationships create challenges. Relationships after brain injury create different challenges. Each individuals brings with them their history. History in terms of what was learned and experienced growing up. History also in terms of what they experienced in past relationships. If there was dysfunction in those relationships, dysfunction will be brought into each relationship. Such dysfunction can continue to undermine and sabotage relationships. Continue to undermine and get in the way of existing relationships and other relationships... unless new boundaries and behaviors are learned and used in relationships.
Articles in this category give ways to recognize, address and change behaviors that no longer work.
Once an individual experiences a brain injury another dynamic enters into the relationship. Denial. Once external wounds have healed and the impact of the brain injury becomes invisible denial enters relationships. I can speak from personal experience. For many years I had no idea that my life was being impacted by the open skull fracture and brain injury when I was 10 years old. When asked friends would tell me that there was some thing different about me, but they could not put their "put their finger on it." I could not "put my finger on it" either because denial kept it hidden from me.
My denial and other people's denial. The result from this denial was alienation. An alienation from myself and from other people. People who could not or would not consider that my life was being impacted by a brain injury. People who could not or would not accept me and needed to believe that I was making excuses. People who needed to stay in denial, because to come out of denial would mean they would need to change. Nevertheless, the reality was that I was the only one who needed to accept and own my reality. I was the only one who could do anything about how my life being was impacted by a brain injury.
I was the only one who could do anything to change the way my life was being impacted. I was the only one who could do anything about the dysfunctional way I related to myself and other people. I was the only one who could work a program of recovery to change my behavior. I was the only one who could change the way I related to people. I was the only one who could stop participating in behaviors that no longer worked for me. I was the only one who do anything to enhance to make my life better. I was the only one who could learn how to live with and to navigate through life with a brain injury and an invisible disability.
I was the only one who could learn how to live with and to navigate through life with a brain injury and an invisible disability. I was the only one who could change my behavior so that I could begin to have functional relationships.
In the articles with in this category I share what helped me to change the way that I related to myself and other people. With in this category I speak to how I found freedom from the denial in myself and other people. In this category I share what I learned that helped me to begin to have a relationship with myself. I share what helped me to experience a freedom. A freedom that I previously never knew existed. I share what helped me to accept myself, when other people could not or would not accept me. I share what helped me to have functional relationship with myself and with other people. In this category I share hope.
Several days ago I wrote and published an article, Living with a Brain Injury, Holiday Stress and What to Do? in the article I shared an article and a video presentation series that I wrote and created in November 2014, Brain Injury, Stress, Anxiety, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. Shortly before this Thanksgiving, 2022, I shared the article and video presentation … [Read more...]
In my experience and through my process I discovered a set of ways. A set of ways that have helped me in my ongoing brain injury recovery process, one day at a time. These set of ways may also help you in your ongoing brain injury recovery process, one day at a time. Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, it’s very hard. These ways have helped me to be able to accept … [Read more...]
Having and maintaining friendships and relationships after our brain injury can leave us feeling baffled. For some reason friendships and relationships change. These changes leave us frustrated and feeling alone. Because of our frustration and feeling alone, accepting what we don't understand can leave us feeling powerless. Powerless to change the things we can't, can leave … [Read more...]
Several days ago I received a comment in response to my article, Discovering Our Super Power after a Traumatic Brain Injury. The individual shared that they were frustrated with being shamed and blamed by someone close to them after their brain injury. Someone who is close to them who shames and blames them. Shames and blames them for what they are unable to accept. In … [Read more...]