If you have not already done so, I would encourage you to read Part 1 of this series, by clicking on this link: Part 1
Over the next several weeks I continued to brood over the experience that I had encountered at the group and with the facilitator. Although I had vowed to myself never to return to the group, I realized that I was running away from some unfinished business. Consequently, last night towards the end of my class at the martial arts school I made the decision to attend the group to confront the situation and the facilitator. After arriving at the meeting I learned that the facilitator was not going to be able to attend the meeting — due to work responsibilities — and that another person was asked to facilitate in her absence.
As circumstances would have it the person who was asked to facilitate was someone I admired and respected. I told that person — substitute facilitator — what I was going to say to the facilitator. Please do not interrupt my sharing or cut me off time wise. The substitute facilitator reminded me about the format of the meeting the responsibilities of the facilitator. Because I arrived early to the meeting we were able to have a civil conversation about the matter. During our discussion several realities became apparent to me. I had been taking things personally, my motivations were out of whack, and I was allowing my buttons to be pushed.
What became obvious to me was that I needed to take responsibility for — my buttons — how I react.
My buttons — how I react to people, places and things — can not be pushed by me or by anyone else for that matter unless they are present. In other words, if I am reacting to people, places and things there is a reason and that reason is more about me than it is about another person, place or thing. My experience with the facilitator triggered or pushed a button in me was connected to something that I needed to resolve. Like a bomb that can not be triggered or detonated with out a fuse and a source, neither can a reaction occur in me with out a circumstance to trigger the reaction or button.
My experience with the group and the facilitator provided the circumstances that provided the conditions that alerted me to a button. Based on my previous experience I was able to connect the dots. Because the button existed I reacted. In essence I realized that I was responding to some of my unfinished business from my past. The button would not have existed if I had made peace with my past. As I became aware of the button I was aware that I had been given a wonderful learning opportunity. I realized that I was being given three choices.
Please read Part 3 by clicking on this link: Part 3. Thank you.
As you listen to, watch or read my articles and questions come to mind, please send those questions to mind. All questions are good questions. In the event that you would like to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.To do so, please use the below contact form. I will respond to your comments and questions.
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I look forward to hearing from you.
Craig
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