Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. In my experience, I have come to realize that perspective has a lot to do with how I experience my life. If I allow other people’s perspectives of me to be my perspective of myself then I am putting myself in a box. Consequently, I need to be aware of how I may be allowing people’s perspectives of me to influence my perspective of – how I see — myself.
Therefore, I do not have to take on other people’s insecurities.
Last night I was around some individuals who responded to me – I believe – out of their insecurities. Initially, I found myself internalizing their insecurities as there being some thing wrong with me. After reflecting upon this awareness, I regained my perspective. As I realized what had transpired, I began positive self-talk. I reminded myself of the realities of my strengths in the midst of the way I experienced their insecurity “transfer”.
What I tell myself – about myself – is more important than what other people may communicate to me – overtly or covertly. Consequently, I need to be aware of what I am telling myself as I interact with people who seek to — consciously or unconsciously — pass their insecurity onto me. In May 2007 I wrote an article to share what I discovered concerning these transfers. To read the article — to gain further insight — please click here: link
Through being aware of when the “transfer” is occurring, I am able to take steps to take care of myself. I take care of myself by detaching myself from the individual and their “transfer”. By detaching myself from the individual, I am able to examine how the “transfer” is affecting me. By examining how the transfer is affecting me, I am able to detach myself from the “transfer” with out placing a judgment on the individual or the insecurity.
By detaching myself from the individual and the “transfer”, I am able to practice the principle of live and let live. By practicing the principle of live and let live, I am able to decide upon the amount of time I am willing to spend with that individual in the future. By taking care of myself in this way, I am able to re-focus my attention on my mission, vision and goals.
Here are several quotes from Thomas Edison that encourage me to keep at my goals regardless of what anyone may say or do:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try one more time.”
“The reason a lot of people do not recognize opportunity is because it usually goes around wearing overalls looking like work.”
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were when they gave up.”
“Just because some thing doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t me that it’s useless.”
“There is far more opportunity than there is ability.”
As you read this article and questions come to mind, please send those questions to me. All questions are good question. In the event that you would like to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you. You may send your question (s) or comment (s) by clicking on this link: Contact Page
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Hi Craig, as I read your latest e-mail to me on insecurity transfer. I say “right on” now I have a word to identify. and tell myself. when I feel it is happening…… I can mentally say “insecurity transfer” l’ll make it sound like an out of space robot.. that way I can smile and stop allowing these things bother me so much. And you said consciously or unconsciously the other person does this, and that will help me to stop any anger to that person, as it may be unconsciously.. I do allow these things bother me, bring me down, . . . I was like that before, now it is magnified, as we all know with our injury….. you build my security and confidence Craig, thank you so much Linda
Thank you for writing to me and let me know that you are benefiting from my articles and video presentations. Thank you. You are a blessing to me! It is a hard pill to swallow when we are being treated with disdain, but good to know that the person or people who are projecting may be more about them than about me. It is good to know that I do not have to take on their “stuff”. Hurt people, hurt people. What’s more is that I need to remember that I am powerless over what people think of me and people pleasing and approval seeking have never served me well. I am grateful for pain — emotional and spiritual — that motivates me to look for solutions. You are welcome my friend. I am learning too Linda. Have a great day my friend. Thank you again for writing to me.
Craig