By completing my 4th step inventory I was able to identify patterns and how those patterns impacted my relationships — with God, myself and other people. I needed to examine the patterns of my resentments because my resentments were killing me — drinking poison and hoping the person I am resentful toward dies.
Not only were my resentments killing me, but they were undermining my ability to trust.
In my experience, as I examined the patterns of my resentments I found that expectations were at the core of all of my resentments. I found that each of my resentments were directly tied to the unrealistic expectations that I had for / in all my relationships.
When my unrealistic expectations were not met I would become disappointed and angry. Over time my disappointments and anger would invariably turn into resentments. Because I did not know how to process my disappointments or my anger — at the time — my unrealistic expectations would in effect drive people away from me.
Please read Part 10 for context. Thank you.
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