Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 , Part 7 for context. Thank you.
Because I realized what I had been doing — in and through my relationships — was no longer working I became willing to do whatever was suggested to me. Consequently, I was encouraged to examine my relationships through taking a thorough and fearless moral inventory of myself. My sponsor suggested that I complete a 4th Step inventory. He told me of a format that he had used to complete his 4th Step Inventory and I decided to follow his lead to complete my 4th Step Inventory.
The 4th Step Inventory is part of the 12 Steps.
The following is an outline of what is suggested in the 4th Step inventory. I was told that I needed to examine the resentments that I had and held towards various people, institutions or principles — other groups and organizations. I was told that I needed to examine my resentments through the lens of why I was angry, how my self-esteem, pride, emotional security, financial security, ambition, personal relations and my sexual relations had been impacted.
I was told that I needed to I examine how I was dishonest, selfish, self-seeking, frightened and inconsiderate in my relationships that contributes to my being resentful. I was then told that I needed to examine how I contributed to the reason (s) why I was resentful at / toward the people, institutions or principles during the course of my life time. I was told that I need examine each of the resentments as they impacted my relationships.
These included resentments that I had / held toward my relationships with family members, classmates, teachers, churches, educational institutions, employment settings, co-workers, agencies, and romantic / sexual relationships.
In my experience I found that I needed to examined my relationships in time segments — starting with my earliest memories. These are the time segments that I used to examine the patterns in my relationships. Ages 6 -12, 12 – 18, 18 -24, 24 – 30, 30 – 36, 36 – 40 and so on. I decided to break these periods into manageable segments. With in these time frames I did my very best to remember both my relationships and the resentments that I associated with those relationships.
Please read Part 9 for context. Thank you.
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