Rather than seeking to serve and promote trust these organizations seemingly sought to be served. Instead of inspiring and teaching me to trust, I found myself being controlled and manipulated — by the tenants, practices and expectations set forth by the group — through the leadership and members of the group, organization or church.
I felt confused and perplexed by the subtle double messages that I “heard” communicated by the leadership and then adhered to and maintained by the members of the group, organization and religious institution. In my experience, I discovered that such messages were conveyed in both covert and overt ways.
One of these double messages instilled a performance based acceptance: “come close, but go away if…” Consequently, what I heard — on one hand — conveyed that I was loved, cared for and accepted and that I could trust the individual, group, organization and religious institutions.
However, what I “heard” on the other hand stipulated trust. Before I could hope to experience the assurance and peace that would be brought about through trust I had to meet and fulfill the individuals, group’s, organization’s and religious institution’s qualifiers and expectations.
Such messages created an ongoing sense of insecurity in me — because I was unable to consistently fulfill the qualifiers and expectations. Consequently, I became what I have heard described as a human doing. As a human doing I unconsciously connected my ability to trust with my ability to perform. If I did not perform, I could not trust.
Please read Part 4 for context. Thank you.
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