Please read Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 and Part 7 for context. Thank you.
I discovered that I needed to examine and replace my mis-guided and distorted perceptions — which in practice alienated me from the God of my understanding. With my awareness, I discovered that I needed to identify what enhanced and hindered my ability to trust the God of my understanding.
To do so I realized that I needed to pay close attention to the factors that contributed to, or distracted from my capacity and willingness to trust. In my experience, I needed to take note of the impact my relationships were having upon my ability and capacity to trust. Through my examination I realized that I needed to make significant changes.
With my awareness, I came to realize that I needed to separate myself from the individuals, groups, organizations and even churches that seemingly undermined my ability to trust. Through my experience I came to realize that these individuals, groups, organizations and churches were not good for me.
Not that they were bad, just not good for me.
Through my experience I came to realize that my interactions with these individuals, groups, organizations and even churches produced more anxiety and uncertainty in me than faith. Rather than trusting and being transparent, I felt alienated by a sense of shame and guilt whenever I took the risk to trust and be transparent.
Rather than drawing me closer to the God of my understanding I felt alienated by a sense of shame and guilt whenever I took the risk to trust and be transparent. Rather than feeling safe and secure — by trusting and being transparent — I felt as though I wanted to hide.
Please read Part 3 for context. Thank you.
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As a brain injury survivor for 12 years it has taken that time to realize I can trust myself and that I am ok. Others, groups, friends, family really do not know where we have come from because they have not lived in the turmoil of sorting out their brain after a traumatic loss of what they were. Many of us survivors spend years trying to fit in and feel o.k. with the rest of the world while becoming overwhelmed and frustrated because of distorted perceptions of self and distorted expectations we feel others have of us. It is up to us to help others understand and accept our real capacity even if they believe we could do more. That takes trust in ourselves. Then we do live within our capabilities and we can do that well. Feel and know we are doing and being our best. Really,wouldn’t everybody long to feel that way.
Hi Lynn,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to write. I am sorry that it took me this long to reply. I agree with you completely. I have written a series of articles that address living with an invisible disability. I understand concerning not “fitting” in Lynn. Consequently our path can be a lonely one. Thank God that we do not have to struggle in silence. Over the course of the 42 years post injury — my tbi happened in 1967 when I was 10 years old — I have been fortunate enough to be to connect some of the dots. If I may suggest I would encourage you to read several of my articles my friend. I will provide links to those articles. Take your time reading through the material — no rush. If you have any questions or if I can help you in some way, please let me know Lynn. Thank you.
I will say so long for now. Have a pleasant evening and God bless you and your family.
Craig
https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/05/12/traumatic-brain-injury-and-denial-my-perspective-as-a-tbi-survivor/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/02/18/my-journey-thus-far/ 3 part series
https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/08/14/my-struggle-living-with-an-invisible-disability/ 4 part series
https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/08/21/having-an-invisible-disability-%e2%80%93-the-consequence-of-denying-my-reality%e2%80%94part-1/ 2 part series
https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/08/28/traumatic-brain-injury-and-the-double-bind/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/05/24/don%e2%80%99t-talk-don%e2%80%99t-trust-and-don%e2%80%99t-feel/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/04/18/the-power-of-identification/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/04/12/traumatic-brain-injury-and-the-square-peg/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/07/07/traumatic-brain-injury-self-esteem-and-significance/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/06/14/second-chance-to-live-and-letting-go-of-unrealistic-expectations/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/05/17/traumatic-brain-injury-and-energy/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/05/19/traumatic-brain-injury-denial-and-limiting-scripts/ a 2 part series
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/05/21/traumatic-brain-injury-and-overcoming-denial-%e2%80%93-part-1/ 2 part series
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/05/25/traumatic-brain-injury-and-the-grieving-process-%e2%80%93-part-1/ a 7 part series
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/06/06/traumatic-brain-injury-%e2%80%93-moving-beyond-the-grieving-process/
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/04/07/traumatic-brain-injury-%e2%80%93-freedom-from-isolation-%e2%80%93-part-1/
a 2 part series
https://secondchancetolive.org/2008/06/12/traumatic-brain-injury-following-your-bliss%e2%80%a6regardless/