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Second Chance to Live

Empowering the Individual, Not the Brain Injury

Traumatic Brain Injury — Thriving as a Square Peg

April 15, 2008 By Craig

Hi and welcome to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see you decided to stop by and visit with me. In my recent post, Traumatic Brain Injury and the Square Peg I spoke to several issues. Today I will elaborate on those concepts. As I spoke about round and square pegs my intention was not to disparage round pegs or to herald square pegs into an elite group of people. Instead, my motive was to share some lessons with you that I have learned through my experience as a square peg.

For too many years I minimized my value because I was different than “other” people. As a traumatic brain injury survivor, a person with an invisible disability and a square peg I attempted to disguise myself as a round peg. In my attempts to avoid being rejected and made fun of I resorted to people pleasing and approval seeking. You see I sincerely believed that I needed to convince people of my worthiness because I did not feel worthy.

In essence, I was desperately seeking to have my worth validated and approved of by individuals in my world because I did not know how to validate and approve of myself.

One day the obvious became apparent. I was spinning my wheels in my attempts to convince the round pegs in my world of my worth and value. Through my process I came to realize that I needed to learn how to love, accept and approve of myself. As I owned my responsibility I realized that I was created to be my own champion. I needed to be my own cheerleader and in the process set my own course.

I could no longer wait to be enlisted in someone else’s vision or dreams. I needed to set my own course and I needed to stay committed to my process.

I needed to be my own square peg. I needed to use what had been given to me. In the process I started to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that worked for me. With time and because I have come to accept myself as a square peg I have matured in ways that once seemed to be out of my grasp. Consequently, my gifts, talents and abilities have made a way for me.

Through my process I have grown to value and respect who I am and what I bring to the table of life. Therefore I no longer need to fly with other birds to be OK with me. I no longer need to convince anyone of my value and worth. Instead, I am free to set my own course and fly at my own pace. I am free to explore beyond the shores of my imagination and I am free to think out side the box.

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All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA

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