For many years I internalized my inability to get things right with being a failure. In my experiences I was conditioned to believe that I did not just make mistakes, but that I was a mistake. My fear of making mistakes was fueled by my fear of failure, so I strove all the more to do enough, in my attempts to be enough so that people would not go away. I was driven by a taskmaster called perfectionism and attempted to prove my worth and value as an individual through being perfect. The taskmaster drove me to by shame — Should Have Already Mastered Everything.
Shame not only undermined my efforts, but devalued the gains that I made each day by the message of “not good enough”.
Through my recovery process and journey, I discovered a principle that changed my life. The principle of progress, not perfection. The principle of progress, not perfection helped me to begin to look at my experience in a different way. Through my process and journey, using the principle of progress, not perfection, I wrote and published several articles. These articles, have helped me to begin to celebrate my process and my journey as I have continued to develop as an individual in my mind, body and spirit and as a student of the martial arts by using the principle of neuroplasticity.
When I stopped trying to be a round peg in a square hole I found freedom. The freedom to be myself and to find ways that would work for me. By doing so I discovered that I could develop my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that would work for me. By doing so, I discovered how to work at my craft. By doing so, I learned that I was / am meant to live my life through my own identity. By doing so, I discovered the freedom to pursue excellence. By doing so I discovered that I was meant to run my own race and stay committed to my own course. By doing I discovered that I was meant to trust.
“What happened / happens to us is not as important as how we respond to what happened / happens to us. How we respond will determine whether we live our lives as a victim or as a victor. This is a reality that needs to be owned.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
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