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Second Chance to Live

Empowering the Individual, Not the Brain Injury

Traumatic Brain Injury and Self-Pity

July 13, 2008 By Second Chance to Live

Hi and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by and visit with me. You are always welcome around my table. This past week I re-learned a valuable lesson. When I take things personally I am prone to react out of fear. I react out of fear because I am afraid that I am either going to lose something that I have or that I am not going to get something that I want. When I take things personally I jump to conclusions. In the process, I experience contempt prior to investigation. In my contempt I seek to justify my insecurities by projecting the cause of my discomfort — on to the situation, circumstance and individuals.

My experience this week had all the tell-tale signs of self-pity, but I could not see the signs until someone kindly pointed out that I was taking the situation personally. She went on to share her experience with me. In the process I was able to see where my perceptions went awry.

As I have had time to process what she shared with me, I have been able to benefit from the experience. I now realize that I messed up because I did not take the time to ask questions. With my awareness I have been able to make the proper amends. I have been able to humble myself and admit that I was wrong. By admitting my wrong I have been able to re-establish my relationship with both the people involved and with myself. Through making amends I have been able to clean up my side of the street. By taking responsibility for how I reacted to the situation I have been able to let go of my guilt and shame.

Through being honest with myself I am able to own my self-pity. By making my amends I am able to be own the responsibility for my attitudes and my reactions. In so doing I no longer need to be victimized by my negative attitudes and misguided perceptions.

In the final analysis, I am grateful that I no longer need to beat up on myself for messing up. Instead I can clean up. Through being honest with myself I can stay current with my relationships, my process and myself. As I take personal responsibility for my attitudes and reactions to people, places and things I am able to steer clear away from the confines of self-pity. Through being accountable to and for my attitudes and reactions I am able to take the risk to promptly make amends. By promptly making amends I empower my relationships, with a loving God, with other people and with myself.

I am able to trust the process, a loving God and myself — because I know that I will get what I need.

In the event that you would like to be in touch with me, here is my Contact Page. Send comments or questions and I will respond to you.

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