I want to share something with you that has helped me. My motivation is to provide insights to the parents that read my blog. My motive is to provide awareness. No one is to blame. Pointing fingers in anyone's direction does no one any good. I am alone responsible for my choices. The beauty of living is that we can make a decision to change our behavior at any time. The … [Read more...]
Relationships following a Brain Injury
Relationships create challenges. Relationships after brain injury create different challenges. Each individuals brings with them their history. History in terms of what was learned and experienced growing up. History also in terms of what they experienced in past relationships. If there was dysfunction in those relationships, dysfunction will be brought into each relationship. Such dysfunction can continue to undermine and sabotage relationships. Continue to undermine and get in the way of existing relationships and other relationships... unless new boundaries and behaviors are learned and used in relationships.
Articles in this category give ways to recognize, address and change behaviors that no longer work.
Once an individual experiences a brain injury another dynamic enters into the relationship. Denial. Once external wounds have healed and the impact of the brain injury becomes invisible denial enters relationships. I can speak from personal experience. For many years I had no idea that my life was being impacted by the open skull fracture and brain injury when I was 10 years old. When asked friends would tell me that there was some thing different about me, but they could not put their "put their finger on it." I could not "put my finger on it" either because denial kept it hidden from me.
My denial and other people's denial. The result from this denial was alienation. An alienation from myself and from other people. People who could not or would not consider that my life was being impacted by a brain injury. People who could not or would not accept me and needed to believe that I was making excuses. People who needed to stay in denial, because to come out of denial would mean they would need to change. Nevertheless, the reality was that I was the only one who needed to accept and own my reality. I was the only one who could do anything about how my life being was impacted by a brain injury.
I was the only one who could do anything to change the way my life was being impacted. I was the only one who could do anything about the dysfunctional way I related to myself and other people. I was the only one who could work a program of recovery to change my behavior. I was the only one who could change the way I related to people. I was the only one who could stop participating in behaviors that no longer worked for me. I was the only one who do anything to enhance to make my life better. I was the only one who could learn how to live with and to navigate through life with a brain injury and an invisible disability.
I was the only one who could learn how to live with and to navigate through life with a brain injury and an invisible disability. I was the only one who could change my behavior so that I could begin to have functional relationships.
In the articles with in this category I share what helped me to change the way that I related to myself and other people. With in this category I speak to how I found freedom from the denial in myself and other people. In this category I share what I learned that helped me to begin to have a relationship with myself. I share what helped me to experience a freedom. A freedom that I previously never knew existed. I share what helped me to accept myself, when other people could not or would not accept me. I share what helped me to have functional relationship with myself and with other people. In this category I share hope.
Following a brain injury, many questions arise. Many of which are very difficult to answer. One of these questions involves having relationships. Relationships with ourselves and with other people. Trying to understand who we are after a brain injury is difficult enough. Then trying to figure out how to have a relationship with ourselves and with people can leave us feeling … [Read more...]
Last week I wrote 3 articles to answer a question that I received surrounding social anxiety. To share the information in an alternate format, I created video presentations of the articles. I create video presentations of my articles for individuals who learn through listening and watching. To watch the video presentations of the 1st 2 articles in the series, click on the … [Read more...]
In the beginning of July 2016, I wrote and published the article. Why do I Feel so Misunderstood and Shunned? In today's article, I would like to share a video presentation of the article. The information shared in the article, helped me to begin to understand why I felt misunderstood and shunned as an individual living with the impact of a brain injury. The information … [Read more...]
This past Wednesday, I attended a support group meeting where the topic tabled was isolation. I listened to the topic and intellectually grasped the concept, as I have spoken about isolation previously in articles on Second Chance to Live. Towards the end of Wednesday's meeting I shared some thing that I had not thought about in many years. Although I crave intimacy -- in to … [Read more...]