Hi Friends. I am happy to see you again. I enjoy the times we have together. You are a blessing to me. I want to share something I heard at a meeting last night. The concept was so simple, but the application so profound. While I listened an integral piece of the proverbial relationship puzzle fell into place. What I heard made all the sense in the world. The information complimented what I shared yesterday in my post, Being Assertive. Through being assertive on the front end I can alleviate much toil and aggravation on the back end. Let me explain through the use of a hypothetical example.
Example: I have an expectation that Sue will do something for me. I do not say anything to Sue about my expectation of her, however when she does not meet my expectation I develop a resentment. My resentment then creates a wedge in my mind and heart towards Sue. Sue may not have even known what I wanted her to do, but I still hold onto my resentment because my expectation was not fulfilled. When I confront Sue about my disappointment she reacts and we have the beginnings of an argument. The argument escalates and the wedge develops between us. My resentment seems justified, while Sue believes her anger towards me is warranted. My resentment and her anger deplete time and energy away from the relationship.
Being assertive can rescue me from the fallout of my expectations. Being assertive can satisfy my need to be heard as well as creating a win / win outcome within the relationship. By asking for what I need I am able to negotiate with the other person. Through asking for what I need, I empower the relationship. Through being honest and open on the front end of my need or want I avoid depleting my creative energy through an unnecessary resentment. When I chose not to be lazy on the front of my need or want I release my relationship from the grips of negative outcomes. As I practice being assertive in my relationships, I commit myself to practical resolutions.
Today’s thought
I know that with all things there must be a beginning. Therefore, I commit myself to the process of asking for what I need or want. I will be open to negotiate with those I love and care about in life. I will ask for what I want or need in my relationships. I will be empowered and I will empower my relationships. If I find myself becoming resentful, I will ask myself, “Where are you loading your energy?” Through being honest with myself, I will be released from the harness of negative energy.
Table Topics for the Soul – Journey to the Heart. LC Registration #: TXu1-330-434 Copyright © 2007
Very good Craig. I so relate to this because a very important relationship to me was destroyed due to lack of assertiveness and courage. I have wept bitterly over this and can only hope and pray that with time God will bring healing somehow.