In the event that you would like to listen to and watch this presentation, click on this link: Losing a Family Member or Friend to Death and a Small Group Discussion Video Presentation
Several nights ago I attended and participated in an online small group. As the discussion began and continued a topic developed. Those attending shared that they had lost someone to death recently. My Mom passed away this past December so I could identify with the emotions shared.
Because of my unique background of having worked within both the cemetery and funeral business (one of my many employment endeavors) I shared some insights. There are no time schedules for one’s grieving process. Each person also grieves differently. It just takes what it takes.
After Care Support
One thing that I did not think about at the time of the small group is that funeral homes offer aftercare groups. These aftercare groups provide opportunities for individuals to gain and offer support. The process of talking and sharing is very important to being able to heal in the process.
Allowing Ourselves the Time
In my experience, I needed to confront what I could not change. I needed to be angry about what I could not change. I needed to challenge what could not changed. When I realized that trying to change what could not be changed I became depressed. I stayed depressed until I was able to accept what was lost.
When I was able to accept what I could not change, the loss, I was slowly able to be open. Open to looking at life in a different way. By looking at life in a different way, I began to see that I had other choices. By recognizing that I could move beyond what I could not change, I was able to move forward.
Writing a Letter
Another point that I shared with the group members is write a letter or letters to your loved one. Doing so may help you to communicate what you were unable to when they were living. Writing a letter (s) may help you to (when you are ready) to have peace between you and your loved on and bring closure when ready.
Universally Applied
The information shared above can help to make peace with any loss (be it the loss of a dream). Grieving and making peace with what cannot be changed opens doors. Grieving the loss (whatever that loss may be) helps you and I to see and make a brand new start. Having the courage to do so can guides us.
Guides You and I to Live the Life We Never Imagined
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell
“Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s okay. You’re here to live your life, not to make everyone understand.” Banksy
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
“If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau
“Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
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