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In my experience, I have found that when I am out of sorts about anything, I need to look to and keep the focus on myself. Being out of sorts” can be likened to having a trigger or a button. If I did not have a trigger or button — to potentially be pushed – I would not react. Consequently, when I reactor when I am disturbed, I need to take the steps to quiet myself in order to find out why I am disturbed.
“It is a spiritual axiom that whenever we are disturbed no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us and our first task is to quiet the disturbance. Then we need to take the focus off of others and find out why I am disturbed and then what do I need to do to take care of that disturbance. That is the solution to getting beyond the way we feel”. From the book 12 and 12.
By detaching myself from and stepping back from that which disturbs me, I am able to examine what I am doing to myself and in the process to my relationship (s). Once I have detached – or stepped back from the situation – I then need to call my sponsor (mentor) or a trusted friend who will help me to sort out what I am reacting to/in my life. I have also found that writing in a journal or diary about the situation — while keeping the focus on myself — can be helpful in determining why I am disturbed.
I have found that what I may be reacting to presently may be more connected to something I have not made peace with from my past. Consequently, I may need to look at the reason why I am reacting to my present situation, by doing an inventory of how I have reacted similarly to past situations. Reality may be that my reaction may not have anything to do with my present situation.
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