For context, please read Part 1, Part 3, Part 4 for context. Thank you.
What also became apparent was that I sincerely believed that I needed to rigidly adhere to what I was being taught by other black and white thinkers. You see, I bought into the notion that my sanity, my security and my salvation were dependent upon whether I was able to meet the expectations that were set forth by the teachings of other black and white / all or none thinkers. Nevertheless, my experience taught me that I could not live up to the standards of the system.
Over time and through my experience I discovered that I could not find peace with in the box.
Nevertheless, I was convinced that if I just tried harder I could find the sanity, security and salvation that I was told existed with in the box of a black and white / all or none system. In my striving, the obvious became apparent. I was being motivated to stay with in the box of my black and white / all or none way thinking out of fear. I discovered that my fear was being fueled by a lie that told me that unless I measured up to what was expected of me I would be lost, ostracized and abandoned.
Through a series of events I became aware of what I was doing to myself. I was allowing myself to be driven by a false premise. With my awareness I realized that I needed to break free from the constraints imposed on me by the confines of a black and white / all or none system. Consequently, I decided to take a risk and look beyond the confines of the box. As I investigated my surroundings I noticed that there was a crack in the box.
Although my black and white / all of none conditioning attempted to discourage me from looking at the crack in the box, I mustered up the courage and started on a new journey.
Please read Part 1, Part 3, Part 4 for context. Thank you.
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