After having an interaction with someone I had not seen in several years I wrote the below article in October 2014. The interaction that I had with this individual illustrated and illustrates the experience that I have had and have with individuals. Individuals who condescend what I have to offer, count me out and dismiss me because I am living with a brain injury and a disability.
The attitude I encounter, as I interact in society, at its best is patronizing and at its worst, condescending. This attitude conveys to me that because I am unable to stay gainfully employed that I should not be taken seriously. That what I have to contribute to society is of little value and thus not given a voice. That what I have to contribute and who I am no longer really matters.
I share the interaction that I experienced and the article written to shed light on an attitude that you may also encounter. Encounter as an individual who is living with the impact of a brain injury and an invisible disability. As an individual who is disabled and not able to work. I share this article to encourage individuals who are also living with the impact of a brain injury and an invisible disability to own their power. To own their power to use their gifts, talents and abilities despite disparaging attitudes.
“Believe in yourself, go after your dreams, and don’t let anyone put you in a box.” Daya
Article written in October 2014
I have my friend that I had not seen in about 6-7 years. Several days ago, during a brief conversation with that individual they asked me if I was working. They asked because they knew that I was disabled because of a brain injury that I sustained when I was 10 years old. They asked me this questions because they knew that my brain injury had interfered with my inability to work.
When my friend asked me if I was working, I said that I was still disabled and receiving assistance. When I said that I was not working, I got the feeling that being disabled, receiving assistance, not being able to work and keep a job made me less of a person. I got a feeling that as a result of being disabled, receiving assistance, and not being able to work that what I was doing did not matter.
A feeling of “Yes, but…” coming from the individual. A feeling that what I was accomplishing with my time and energy was of little value and insignificant. A feeling of minimization and marginalization. A feeling of “that’s nice” after sharing with her what I have been doing after creating my website, Second Chance to Live, on February 6, 2007. A feeling of being patronized and condescend.
Needed to Remind Myself
During and after our interaction I realized that I needed to remind myself. Needed to remind myself that I did have to own or take on their attitude. Although I realized that I did not have to own or take on the attitude, I also realized something else. I realized that I needed to remind myself that “Yes I am disabled, but Don’t Count me Out because I am Not my Brain Injury or my Disability”.
Although I realized that I did not have to own or take on those feelings personally, I realized that I needed to remind myself. Remind myself to run my own race and stay committed to using my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that would work best for me. To remind myself to not lose sight of my mission and vision. To remind myself to stay focused on developing and expressing my own creative genius.
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Albert Einstein
Today’s Thought
In the event that you are living with a brain injury, a visible or invisible disability, that interferes with your ability to work, don’t give up. Your unique gifts, talents and abilities are waiting to be expressed. Expressed in a way that will work for you. In a way that will give you the ability to fulfill your mission, purpose and destiny. A mission given by a loving God that no one else can fulfill.
“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” Zig Ziglar
A mission that we can alone discover. A mission that we can alone develop. A mission to be shared with the world through our creative expression. A mission that will both fulfill our lives and help us to be a blessing to many. A mission to complete, although we may have people in our lives who leave us feeling patronized, condescended and disparaged.
“Don’t give up at half time. Concentrate on winning the second half.” Bear Bryant
My Encouragement to You, as I need to Remember
Stay committed to your course. Run your own race. Keep your focus on the goals that are in front of you. Keep using your gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for you. Don’t lose sight of your mission and vision. Develop and express your creative genius in ways that will work for you, one day at a time. No one else needs to understand.
“Don’t quit. Never give up trying to build the world you can see, even if others can’t see it. Listen to your drum and your drum only. It’s the one that makes the sweetest sound.” Simon Sinek
Some Quotes that Inspire
“Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.” Zig Ziglar
“I am only one, but still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” Helen Keller
“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” B. C. Forbes
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Christopher Reeve
“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” Lou Holtz
“I was told over and over again that I would never be successful, that I was not going to be competitive and the technique was simply not going to work. All I could do is shrug my shoulders and say, ‘we’ll just have to see.” Dick Fosbury (Olympic Gold Medalist. Inventor of the “Fosbury Flop” High Jump Technique)
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs
“Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s okay. You’re here to live your life, not to make everyone understand.” Banksy
“Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation, but of the adopted talent of another, you have only an extemporaneous half- possession. Do that which is assigned to you and you can not hope too much, or too much.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Moving Forward Despite being Patronized, Condescended and Disparaged
I share the below to encourage to live not give up, regardless of whether you are not able to work, are disabled and living on SSDI. To not give up although you may experience the attitude that I have experienced as shared in the above article. To encourage you to discover, develop and express you creative genius in ways that will work for you. To fulfill your God given purpose regardless of what other people may think or say.
Biographical Information for Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA Second Chance to Live
My name is Craig J. Phillips. I sustained an open skull fracture and a traumatic brain injury in an automobile accident when I was 10 years old in 1967. I remained in a coma for 3 weeks with right frontal lobe damage, a severe brain bruise with brain stem involvement. Waking from the coma, I felt like I had a bad dream, but the reality became apparent. I also fractured my left femur and remained in traction for 6-7 weeks to set the femur. I was then placed in a full body cast (Spica) for 5-6 months.
After being taken out of the Spica cast, I learned how to walk, talk, read, write and speak in complete sentences. I also underwent 2 EEG’s and a battery of cognitive and psycho social testing. The results were shared with my parents, but not with me. Once my external wounds healed, the impact of my traumatic brain injury went invisible and was never factored into my struggle
. I was mainstreamed into the 6th grade. I graduated on time with my high school class and then went on to college, although the testing done in 1968 showed that I would probably not succeed beyond high school academically. It took me 10 years to obtain my undergraduate degree (2 universities and one college) and 3 ½ years to obtain my graduate degree (2 graduate schools). I earned a Masters degree in Rehabilitation Counseling from the University of Kentucky in 1990.
I had a 20 year history of getting and losing jobs both non-professional and professional jobs. I applied for SSDI 3 times and was a client of the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation in Florida and North Carolina. After my 2nd DVR evaluation my vocational rehab counselor told me that I was unemployable. Shortly after being told that I was unemployable by DVR I was approved to begin receiving SSDI at the end of 1998. My undergraduate degree is in Theology.
My graduate degree is in Rehabilitation Counseling Although I had diligently applied myself both academically and vocationally, I felt like someone all dressed up with nowhere to go.
Nevertheless, I am glad that I did not give on the process, a loving God or myself.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
I had a desire to use what I had been seeking to do all my life. On February 6, 2007 I created Second Chance to Live. Since that time, I have written 2182 articles, 14 eBooks, 461 video presentations, 20 slide show presentations and 28 Keynote presentations all focusing on a holistic recovery process.
Since June 2020 and to date I have given 141 keynote presentations through Zoom, with upcoming opportunities to be of service. To see these presentations and locations, click on this link. Public Speaking. To access my resource page, please click on this link: Resources for Ongoing Brain Injury Recovery.
Availability to Present
I am available to give one or more of these presentations as a keynote presentation, an in service or in another capacity. Please let me know and we can get them scheduled. All these presentations are designed to encourage an ongoing brain injury recovery process in mind, body, spirit, soul and emotions.
Among Places Previously Presented
Cleveland Clinic, Medstar National Rehabilitation Hospital, Penn Presbyterian Hospital, Overland Park Rehabilitation Hospital, Adventist Rehabilitation Hospital, Inova Loudon Outpatient Specialty Rehabilitation Hospital, Magee Rehabilitation Hospital, Encompass Rehabilitation Hospital, Brooks Rehabilitation Hospital, Carolinas Rehab, Colorado Department of Education, University of North Dakota, University of North Carolina — Chapel Hill, Harvard University Synapse, University of California at Berkley Synapse, Columbia University Synapse, Synapse National Conference, NeuroRestorative-Charlotte, Brown University Synapse, Temple University Synapse, University of Michigan Synapse, University of California – Irvine Synapse, University of Pittsburgh Synapse, University of California – Davis Synapse and Johns Hopkins University Synapse and various State Brain Injury Associations
During the past 17 years Second Chance to Live has touched lives in these countries:
United States, European Union, Brazil, Canada, United Kingdom, Spain, Ireland, Russia, China, Hong Kong, India, France, Finland, Denmark, Romania, Hungary, Poland, Czechia, Croatia, Indonesia, Belgium, Sweden, Germany, Greece, Philippines, Japan, Serbia, Slovenia, Portugal, Morocco, St. Lucia, Costa Rica, Egypt, Singapore, Saudi Arabia, Myanmar (Burma), Pakistan, Switzerland, Thailand, Israel, Turkey, Australia, New Zealand, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Netherlands, Ghana, and South Africa
During the Past 17 years organizations have highlighted Second Chance to Live
168 National and International Organizations Using Second Chance to Live
Note: I am available to give these presentations to your group or organization
To contact me to schedule: secondchancetolive1@yahoo.com
Presentations and Discussion Topics Created to Inspire Hope
Topics to Share and Discuss with Support Groups
You Are Not Crazy. You have an Invisible Disability Discussion Topic
Yes, I am Disabled, but Don’t Count Me Out because…! Discussion Topic
Learning to Accept Ourselves when Other People Can’t or Won’t Discussion Topic
Getting Comfortable in Our “Own Skin” Living with a Brain Injury and an Invisible Disability Discussion Topic
Navigating Life’s Railroad Switch — Finding Purpose and Passion After Brain Injury Discussion Topic
Don’t Let Anyone tell You; You Aren’t Enough Because…You are Smart, Intuitive and Courageous Discussion Topic
Living and Thriving Beyond Brain Injury Awareness to Create a Good Life for Ourselves Discussion Topic
Creating Practical Hope in Our Lives through the Power of Identification Discussion Topic
Nine Habits to Benefit from Using the Principle of Neuroplasticity Discussion Topic
Full Presentations for Keynote and In Service Presentations
Finding Purpose and not Giving Up after Brain Injury
Hope and the Progression of Living our Best Life after Brain Injury
Neuroplasticity, Setting Goals and Creating Hope After Brain Injury
Facing Adversity and Having Options When Life Does Not Make Sense
12 Ways to Enhance Our Lives, Well-Beings and Relationships after a Brain Injury
Brain Injury and The Power of “I CAN” in an Ongoing Brain Injury Recovery Process
Living and Thriving Beyond Brain Injury Awareness to Create a Good Life for Ourselves
Getting Comfortable in Our “Own Skin” Living with a Brain Injury and an Invisible Disability
Some Things to Consider so We Don’t Stay Stuck Living with a Brain Injury Zoom Presentation
Believing in Ourselves through Self-Advocacy — A Guide to Owning Our Power after Brain Injury
Don’t Let Anyone tell You, You Aren’t Enough Because…You are Smart, Intuitive and Courageous
Celebrating Goals and Dreams in the Now, Overcoming Obstacles, Odds and Impacting Generations Presentation
Finding Freedom from Feeling Alone, Isolated, Alienated, Intimidated and Diminished Living with a Brain injury and an Invisible Disability
Presentations Sharing my Personal Journey and Process
Second Chance to Live and Succeeding Beyond my Special Needs from 10 Years of Age
Comprehensive History of Second Chance to Live — Answering the Call that never Came
Presentations Empowering Groups and Organizations
Living with Long Covid-19 Invisible Disability — Hope, Encouragement and Support Zoom
Empowering Current and Future Leaders in Brain Injury Recovery and Rehabilitation to Empower Self-advocacy in Individuals Living with Brain Injuries
Invitation to Join our communities
To join both our Second Chance to Live Community and our Building Your Life after Traumatic Brain Injury Community, click on this link and ask to join: Communities
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