I would invite you to read Part 1 of the article by clicking on this link: Brain Injury, Parents, Awareness, Creativity, Freedom and Hope Part 1
Because of the fear of being blamed and shamed for their deficits and limitations, individuals living with the impact of brain injuries may live their lives in quiet desperation. Live their lives in quiet desperation, because they do not realize that they possess t the power to create. Create with their lives in ways that work for them. Individuals living with the impact of a brain injury may also find themselves frozen by a fear of failure. Frozen by a fear of failure for not being able to meet and fulfill the expectations. Expectations, given to them by their parents. Expectations resulting in a sense of shame.
The individual living with the impact of a brain injury may find themselves experiencing increased frustration and anxiety. Increased frustration and anxiety, for not being able to meet the expectations.
As the bar of expectation moves, so does the level of frustration and anxiety. Such anxiety and frustration can further undermine the individual’s willingness and ambition to take risks. Nevertheless, in an attempt to gain and maintain the approval of parents, the individual may find themselves striving all the more to meet the expectation(s) of the parent(s). In the process of attempting to gain the parent(s), approval and validation the individual living with the impact of a brain injury may find that their time and internal resources of energy have been drained and depleted.
As shared in Part 1 of this article, the individual living with the impact of a brain injury may, in turn, blame themselves for not being able to do more, to be more to be enough to meet expectations. With time and as the individual continues to blame themselves for not doing more, to be more, to be enough the individual living a brain injury may develop a sense of shame for not being enough.
What I Discovered through my Recovery Process
Through my recovery process, I discovered that there is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is different from shame, in that, with guilt you can make an amends for wrongs done. Shame, on the other hand, is a being wound. Shame leaves us feeling and believing that we don’t just make mistakes, but that we are a mistake. Shame keeps us striving in an attempt to do more, to be more, to be enough. To do more to be enough to prove that we are lovable. Shame leads the individual to believe that without validation from other people, our worth and value does not matter.
To read Part 3 of this article, I would invite you to click on this link: Brain Injury, Parents, Awareness, Creativity, Freedom and Hope Part 3
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