Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to drop by to visit with me. Last night I attended a seminar and while talking with the organizer — at the end of the seminar — I spoke with her about being willing to put on a seminar. I told her of my availability because she made such a request of people in an email. I suggested doing a seminar on grieving and she responded to the affect, that topic is so sad.
I responded that I have found grieving to be very necessary part in the process of being able to discover why we may find ourselves stuck in life. The conversation ended on that point. In response to our conversation, I decided to write this article.
In my experience I have found that grieving is very important part of living. A way to learn things about myself unconsciously buried. An awakening to what may be blocking my creative energies and my vibrancy for living. A way to flush raw emotions that may be keeping me stuck, in denial, self pity and resentment. An ability to see that I have more choices than I ever dreamed possible. A way to free myself so that I no longer have to live angry and depressed.
“Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.” St. Augustine
In my experience, I have found several truths to be evident. If nothing changes, it will remain the same. Expectations are premeditated resentments. Anger turned inward is depression. I am thankful for these awareness’ as they open my eyes. They give me the ability to chose wisely. By choosing wisely, I am able to examine my resentments and anger. By examining my resentments and anger I am able to divert the energy used to maintain resentments and anger.
Instead of using my energy to maintain and sustain my resentments and anger, I am able to use my energy to move beyond my resentments and anger to a place of ownership. Instead of using my energy to maintain and justify my resentments and anger, I am able to use my ownership to find ways to create through my being. By creating through my being I am able to learn how to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that will work for me, to be of service.
By owning my resentments and anger I am able to let people off the hook – including myself. By owning my resentments and anger, I am able to re-direct my energy.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross – in her book On Death and Dying – shared the concept of the Five Stages of Grieving – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. In my experience, I have discovered that resentments and anger are indicators of some thing that I have not been able to accept. The 5 stages of grieving help me to recognize where I am in the process of letting go. By letting go of my resentments and anger, I am able to move on…
In the event that you find yourself resentful and angry about some one or something in your life, you may be grieving some loss. Your anger and resentments may not have anything to do with your current resentments and anger. My encouragement to you – as I do myself – is to sit down with a pen and a of paper and start writing about your anger and resentments. As you write, you will get closer to identifying what is at the core of your resentment and anger.
By identifying what is at the core of your resentment and anger, you will be able to identify the loss that is fueling your resentments and anger. By identifying your loss you will be able to begin the process of grieving that loss. By grieving that loss, you will find that you are able to move on…
As you read this article and questions come to mind, please send those questions to me. All questions are good question. In the event that you would like to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you. You may sent a question or leave a comment by clicking on this link: Contact Page.
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