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Humility teaches the individual that they are on a journey. Humility teaches the individual that on that journey, the process is more important than the destination. Humility teaches the individual that — some times with seeming serendipity — they are being led in the direction of their destiny
Humiliation on the other hand scorns. Humiliation’s motive is to control and limit. Humiliations by nature strips the individual of their uniqueness, self-esteem, self- respect and value. Humiliation demands justification. Humiliation seeks to disparage, minimize and marginalize the individual — at their very core. Humiliation promotes fear and insecurity. Humiliation undermines enthusiasm and motivation. Humiliation promotes fear. Humiliation cripples initiative.. Humiliation quashes hope.
Prior to understanding the distinction between humility and humiliation I berated myself on a daily basis. I believed that I was the problem and thus deserved to be victimized and humiliated by life and the people in my world. Consequently, I felt trapped by the voice of criticism and the clamoring of shame. My efforts to be enough were constantly chided as inadequate. Consequently, I developed insecurity, low self-esteem and low self-worth. I did not believe that I made mistakes, but that I was a mistake.
At the core of my being, humiliation chided me as inadequate and unlovable. My attempts to quiet the voice of humiliation — shame and criticism — only seemed to reinforce the impact that humiliation had upon my life. Unrealistic expectations kept me anxious and depressed. Humiliation reinforced the belief that I could not do enough to be enough. Humiliation stymied my being through intimidation. Humiliation consequently demanded that I be perfect before I could hope to find peace — with other people, much less than with myself.
Humiliation, rather than humility subsequently reinforced my sense of shame and inadequacy. Humiliation distorted my perceptions and held me captive to the belief that who I was and what I had to contribute in life did not matter. Because of my distorted perceptions — prior to understanding the distinction between humility and humiliation — I could not take the risk to be humble. I had to keep hyper vigilant. I had to be on guard.
With time and through my recovery process I cam to understand that humility validates and heralds my best efforts as good enough for today. Because I have learned how to trust the process — rather than trying to control the process — humility has been able to encourage me do the foot work and then let go of the out comes.
Through maintaining humility I am able to revel in what I am experiencing in the now — with out a fear of reprisal. As I let go of my need to justify, answer and defend who I am — I am able to be. As I am able to be I am free to create with out the threat of being criticized or shamed for my efforts. Consequently, I am able to focus on excellence — instead of striving to be perfect — with each new day.
In the pursuit of excellence, I no longer need to listen to the voice of humiliation or be humiliated by my efforts. Consequently, I can rest though my efforts and live beyond my limitations because I do not have to focus on my limitations. Humility allows me to accept who I am, where I am at today. Humility allows me to learn from my experience — rather than judging my experiences. Humility empowers my perspective and motivates me to learn from my circumstances.
Humility gives me the freedom to be who I am, where I am… Humility releases me to live beyond my limitations because I do not have to depend on my own resources. Humility teaches me to stay in the moment. Humility helps me to find my center. Humility teaches me to trust the process, a loving God and myself.
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