Have you ever felt self-pity? Have you ever thought, “the grass must be greener on the other side of the fence”?
I have, as I recently felt frustrated concerning matters that seemed to be out of my control.
Little did I know it; at the time, that I was experiencing a touch of self-pity.
But, thank God that I got myself to a support group meeting.
When a member of the support group shared that she was experiencing self-pity, I realized that the topic applied to me.
As the individual shared that she was struggling with self-pity, I started to think of solutions.
Solutions that have previously given me freedom from feelings of self-pity.
When the time came for me to share my experience, strength and hope, I shared these solutions.
In the process of thinking about and sharing these solutions I experienced a fresh freedom from feelings of self-pity.
Solutions that have Helped and Continue to Help me to Find Freedom from Feelings of Self-Pity
There is light at the end of the tunnel. By not giving up, I am assured that what seems dark now will be made clear.
The metamorphosis of the butterfly. In the cocoon the caterpillar develops into a butterfly, however in order for the butterfly to be able to fly there must be struggle. Struggle to break free from the confines of the cocoon strengths the butterfly’s wings. And so, struggle is essential to my becoming strong enough to fulfill my destiny. There can be no shortcuts for me to become stronger.
As with a woman giving birth, going through labor and delivery is very painful process Going through struggles brings about joy. Focus on gratitude, not on the pain of struggle.
When I am in pain because of what I am unable to change, I enter a grieving process. In this process, I become willing to confront my denial, experience anger, enter into a bargaining process where I continue to try to change what can not be changed. After experiencing a period of depression, I am able to reach a place of acceptance.
The process of grieving is not necessarily a smooth process. In my experience, I have found that the grieving process, just takes what it takes.
The grieving process helps me to move through the 3 A’s in the process. Awareness, Acceptance and Action. By increasing in awareness I grow in acceptance. As I grow in acceptance, I gain the ability to recognize that I have choices. The choice to do something different to get different results.
By realizing that I can do something different to get different results, I am able to break free from feelings of self-pity. By making different choices I create hope in my life. In the process, I move from fear to faith.
Here is a link to an article that contains information and solutions that have and continue to help me to break free from feelings of self-pity: Resources
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