For many years I bought into the lie that perfection was the benchmark of success. Perfectionism kept me on the proverbial “rodent wheel” spinning about, using huge amounts of energy; as I attempted to keep people from physically and emotionally abandoning me. I did so in attempt to prove that I was worth loving to feel secure.
Through my recovery process, I began to realize the futility of my efforts. I began to realize that my efforts to do enough to be enough rarely kept those people from going away. My awareness and recovery process helped me to begin to realize that my motivation was to protect my worth and value through obtaining specific outcomes, through my efforts.
My awareness helped me to realize that my worth and value could no longer be tied to specific outcomes, to have peace in my life. My awareness, helped me to trade my anxiety with doing the footwork. My awareness, helped me to realize that I could begin to let go of my need to be perfect through letting go of specific outcomes, while trusting the process.
As my belief system changed, so has my need to overcompensate to protect my worth and value from a fear of failure and a fear of abandonment. By letting go of my need to protect my worth and value, I am able to let go of specific outcomes. By letting to of specific outcomes, I find the freedom to take risks. By taking risks, I grow in my capacity to create.
By growing in my capacity to create, I grow in my capacity to celebrate hope in each success.
“Don’t judge your day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” Robert Louis Stevenson
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