Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. You are always welcome around my table. Last night a young man was interviewed on 60 minutes, a math and science prodigy. The interview is now available on line. I was able to watch the interview a little while ago. As I watched the interview, I was reminded of several realities. By pursuing what one loves, other matters seem to fall in place. Doors open that previously seemed to be closed.
Jake: Math prodigy proud of his autism – 60 Minutes – CBS News
Interestingly, as Jake pursued what he loved he adjusted and became more affable in his interactions and in the process, better adjusted. Lesson here — in my opinion — is to encourage people to pursue what they love and excel at instead of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I wrote an article on this subject nearly a year ago. Feeling like a Square Peg in a World of Round Holes. Give the article a read and let me know how the article speaks to you.Thank you.
Feeling like a Square Peg in a World of Round Holes
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. I have been thinking about round pegs and round holes and square pegs and square holes. In a world that chastises people who are different, I have found myself ostracized – for many years – because of who I am as an admitted square peg.
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.” Howard Thurman
You, too, may feel like a square peg in a world of round holes. Consequently, you may find yourself buying in the notion that who you are — as an individual — is of little value or importance. Let me share something with you that I have learned – through my process. That notion and lie is farthest from the truth. Who you are and what you bring to the table of life is of infinite value and of dire importance. Your genius is desperately needed. Don’t cute yourself short.
“Insist on yourself, never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half-possession…Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
And if you think that too much time has been wasted because you bought into the wrong notions, I have some good news my friend. We can make the decision to start our day over at any time. We can determine to be the best square peg in a world of round holes. We can learn to use our gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for us and we can determine to trust the process, a loving God and ourselves.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson
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I too had a brain injury in 1996 and awhile after the injury I noticed that I lost my sense of smell and taste. I was also told that there was nothing that can be done. So I moved on and just dealt with it and everytime someone would say smell this, I just kept smelling things and looking for any kind of indication, hoping for something, but everytime there was nothing. My sense of taste did start to return first very slowly after that started then my sense of smell returned. Im not going to smooth it over for you, it was a very long process but within the last 5 – 7 years my taste started to come back more and more and with my sense of smell is almost to normal, however it has been 13 years since my accident. Just recently I went back to college and decided to do a essay on brain injurys and was looking for information (which is how I found this site!). There is so much information on the net its almost scary. I have dealt with other things in the past such as clumbsiness, memory issues and many other things but I never connected my injury to any of that until I started my research. It is amazing on what you can miss if you dont have it, however, I decided early on that I was not going to dwell on what I don’t have and dwell on what I still had and I was as lucky as you are to still be here!
Hi Judy,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to write to me. In my experience, some people learn better through reading and some people learn better through watching and listening. That is why I have made video presentations of some of my articles. In the future I will include links to the written article in my video presentation to make accessing the written article easier. All is good. I am sorry that you experienced frustration in the process of locating the article. I can completely understand as I also have a difficult time locating one of my articles in my Site Map at times too Judy.
On the front page of Second Chance to Live I have a Search Box that can be used to enter the title of the article or search terms that are included in articles that I have written. I have moved this Search Feature from below my Most Recent articles to above my Most Recent articles in my right side bar Judy. Thank you for bringing this to my attention as I moved the Search box to where it is more visible.
My experience is that when using my Search Box there are many articles with Traumatic Brain Injury in their titles. Consequently, after entering the title of the article into the Search box and clicking Search, you may need to click on previous articles several times before you come to the page that has the exact article title. I know this may sound confusing Judy. Consequently, I would love to give you a call and explain the process if you would send me your phone #. I am learning to my friend.
I have included a copy of the article Traumatic Brain Injury and Transition below my friend. In the event that you would like to read the article on Second Chance to Live I will include a link to the article Judy. By clicking on the title here Traumatic Brain Injury and Transition the article will open for you.
Traumatic Brain Injury and Transition
Hi, and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am so glad you decided to stop by and visit with me. You are always welcome at my table. I received a comment today from a parent of a son who experienced a traumatic brain injury several months ago. She wanted to thank me for the material I wrote in yesterday’s post, Traumatic Brain Injury and Limitation. I have been thinking about her comment and wanted to share some reflective thoughts with you. My motivation is to encourage you to be gentle with your process.
After I became aware of the significance of my brain injury, I went through a grieving process. I wanted to deny the significance of the injury to my brain. I then spent time being angry over what I became powerless over, my limitations and deficits. I then spent time attempting to disprove to myself and to other people the significance of how my brain injury impacted my world. When I realized that I was indeed disabled because of my brain injury I went through an extensive period of depression and sadness.
Please understand that the conclusions and the encouragement that I share in Second Chance to Live did not come over night. I transitioned through a tremendous amount of discouragement, disappointment and emotional heart ache over the years before I was able to embrace what I share with you. Please read My Motivation . I still have my times of discouragement and depression, but I realize that I have a future and a hope. I have come to realize that the dark clouds pass with time.
When I reached the stage of acceptance in my grieving process I began to accept myself. The process of accepting who I am – as a person who is a traumatic brain injury survivor – helped me to stop fighting against myself. The process of grieving the loss of my dreams, hopes and expectations released me to live in the now. When I let go of how I thought my life was supposed to look my eyes slowly opened to reveal my reality.
Accepting my reality has given me a new hope, released me to dream again and has given me the courage to trust that I will be given what I need and that I will fulfill my destiny. When I was able to accept my reality I was able to begin looking for solutions in spite of being a traumatic brain injury survivor. Through my process, I have learned to take advantage of the opportunities that become available to me. Although I may not have the big picture, I have learned to feel my feelings, to trust the process and to trust a loving God who cries with me when I cry.
I have also come to realize that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Determination, persistence and tenacity have become my close friends. I no longer see my limitations as a limitation. My deficits have become the possibilities of my creativity. My disappointments are being turned into my dreams. I am encouraged to learn from my present circumstances because I know that they are leading me to my destiny.
I would encourage you to grieve the loss of your dreams, your hope’s and your expectations. Those loses are very real. Denying what has changed because of your traumatic brain injury survivor will only protect you for a time. Your anger is justified by what you can not understand. I have been there too my friend. I have felt like a man in a very dark room attempting to find the switch to turn on the lights. Your sadness is warranted and welcomed through your experience. You will learn to use your anger for good.
The good news is that you will find your switch and you will learn to thrive. You will learn to use your gifts, talents and abilities to fulfill your dreams. You do not have to compare your journey with anyone’s journey. You are on a road of wonder and you will find your way. Please read my post, Following your bliss…regardless. You are learning wonderful lessons my friend. Those lessons are preparing you to fulfill the dreams you have always had in your heart. Take comfort my friend, more will be revealed.
I will say so long for now. Have a pleasant and rewarding day and God bless you and your family Judy.
Craig