As I have grown in awareness, certain truths have become self-evident. As a person with a disability, I allowed a culprit to bully me for many years.
Shame led me to believe that I deserved to be abused because I was not good enough.
The “bully”, shame, — Should Have Already Mastered Everything — controlled and manipulated my every move until I began my healing process.
Identifying with Me
I now realize that I allowed this bully to reek emotional and spiritual havoc in my life. In the event that you have found yourself bullied, I believe you also will be able to identify.
In my Duress
In my duress, I felt like a man adrift on the high seas, desperately attempting to tread water so that I would not fall beneath the swelling waves of self-doubt.
In my attempts to avoid to being battered and bruised by self-doubt, I attempted to swim against the tide of low self-esteem, a faltering self-worth, and a myriad of insecurities. In my attempts to make it past the tide of discouragement, I over-compensated in an attempt to protect my fragile self-image. Although I was able to make it past a series of waves, doubt would again sweep over my heart.
My best efforts to make it to shore were often met with chiding. Chiding came in the form of criticism. Criticism perpetuated the God- awful lie that I was a mistake.
Shame is the culprit. Shame is different than guilt. If you make a mistake, you can correct that mistake through making an amends. On the other hand, if you believe that you don’t just make mistakes, but that you are a mistake you feel helpless. For many years I believed I was a mistake. Shame told me that I could never do enough.
Perfectionism demanded more, but more was never good enough.
Through my process, I have come to understand that shame is at the root of all that seeks to undermine who I am. Shame seeks to act as a “cancer” upon the creative energy that resides within my heart. Shame’s goal is to discourage, dishearten and destroy. Through my experience, I have found shame to be at the root of all my distress. I have come to regard shame’s message as my arch nemesis.
Therefore, I avoid interacting with people, organizations, and even churches that use shame to control. I believe that people who use shame to control and manipulate have hidden agendas. I do not believe they have my best interest at heart. Consequently, I avoid the tentacles of shame like the plague.
I have come to believe that perfectionism is the offspring of shame who married disillusionment.
You have my permission to share my articles and or video presentations with anyone you believe could benefit, however, I maintain ownership of the intellectual property AND my articles, video presentations and eBooks are not to be considered OPEN SOURCE. Please also provide a link back to Second Chance to Live. In the event that you have questions, please send those questions to me. All questions are good questions. I look forward to hearing from you. More Information: Copyright 2007 –2017