“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” Henry David Thoreau
Recently, I was asked to put together a program on “Change” to present to a brain injury support group. The individual inviting me to present, wrote:
“You’ve made lots of changes in your life… you can use them to illustrate the importance of being open to making changes rather than staying stuck.
People with brain injury often either lack initiation or keep ‘perseverating’ due to deficits resulting from the brain injury, or don’t have the supports they need to help them make the change, or due to PTSD or other anxieties are fearful to make the next leap or take the next step.”
You make a Huge Difference
“We convince by our presence.” Walt Whitman
“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.” Angela Monet
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs
Accepting what I Can Not Change
In my experience, as I have shared through my presentations, I needed to grieve what I could not change, before I was able to get to a place of accepting what I could not change. (Confronting my denial, experiencing my anger, trying to bargain my way out of changing what could not be changed, being depressed by realizing I could not change what I could not change, BEFORE I could get to a place of being able to accept what I could not change. Change then became the “door” or “portal” to possibilities and a “window” to HOPE.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller
“Don’t quit. Never give up trying to build the world you can see, even if others can’t see it. Listen to your drum and your drum only. It’s the one that makes the sweetest sound.” Simon Sineck
A Commitment to the Process
In my experience, this was a process that took time for me to be able to realize that I had a CHOICE to do something DIFFERENT. In my experience, I found that there were no short cuts, silver bullets or magic potions that helped me in this process. The process, just took what it took. That is what I surmise is going to be needed by anyone who experiences CHANGE. And they need to be committed to the process. Accepting what I can not change does not mean that I like “IT” – the impact of my brain injury, stroke, PTSD or otherwise. Accepting “IT” means I move forward with my life to create my new normal — a little at a time.
“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, and expect to win.” Zig Ziglar
“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I can not do interfere with what I can do.” Helen Keller
Accepting Ourselves when Other People Can Not
In my experience, I discovered that there were people who did not or could not accept me in my new reality after my brain injury. Brain Injury — Why do I Feel so Misunderstood and Shunned?. And, they did not want me to change, because they too would need to change. Understanding this reality helped me to accept my reality, make changes, and stop fighting with and against myself. Accepting my reality helped me to move forward with my life, run my own race, stay in my lane and let people believe what they need to believe.
“Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s okay. You’re here to live your life, not to make everyone understand.” Banksy
“I was told over and over again that I would never be successful, that I was not going to be competitive and the technique was simply not going to work. All I could do was shrug and say “We’ll just have to see”. Dick Fosbury
Time takes Time
Each of my 8 presentations give ways to overcome cognitive and emotional changes after brain injury, BUT this process just takes time. LOTS of TIME, as shared in my presentation, Neuroplasticity, Setting Goals and Creating Hope After Brain Injury and Stroke. Learning skills and skill sets to improve brain and body connections takes time and lots of repetitions. Time and repetitions at my own rate and pace. Time and repetition through my own learning style.
“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” Babe Ruth
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison
A Commitment to Self-Advocacy
In my presentation, Believing in Ourselves through Self-Advocacy — A Guide to Owning Our Power after Brain Injury and Stroke, I speak to the need for the individual to advocate for themselves in mind, body, spirit, soul and emotions. Because of the changes (often hard to understand by an individual living with a brain injury) making these changes in their mind, body, spirit, soul and body is essential.
“Research your own experience. Absorb what is useful, reject what is useless and add specifically your own creation.” Bruce Lee
“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” Lou Holtz
Running Our Own Race — Staying In Our Own Lane
Recently, I wrote the article, Living with a Brain Injury and an Invisible Disability — How are You Defining Success? In my experience, I have come to realize that defining success is a life long process. A life long process that I tweak along the way. One lesson and opportunity at a time. See my article by clicking on: Living with a Brain Injury and an Invisible Disability — How are You Defining Success?
“Create your own visual style…let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.” Orson Welles
“You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it’s enough. It just takes one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never giver up.” Richelle E. Goodrich
We Are Not Alone in this Process
Several months ago I compiled 12 Ways to Enhance My Life, Well-being and Relationships to share what has helped me in the pursuit of my destiny. Below is a link to the 12 Ways that have helped me in the pursuit of my destiny, one day at a time. 12 Ways to Enhance Our Lives, Well-Beings and Relationships after a Brain Injury and Stroke
“Believe in yourself, go after your dreams and don’t let anyone put you in a box.” Daya
“Purpose is about a process and a journey, not a destination. I cannot know until I know and knowing just takes what it takes. There are no “silver bullets” or “magic potions”. By accepting that reality, I am given the gift of knowing by not giving up. I am given the gift of knowing by trusting the process, a loving God and myself.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
Walking Down a Different Street
The below poem illustrates that the process, many times, just takes what it takes. Takes what It takes to realize that I can make different choices. I can do something different to get different results in my life.
There Is a Hole in My Sidewalk
By Portia Nelson
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately,
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
“Dreams do not vanish, so long as people do not abandon them.” Phantom F. Harlock
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear.” Ambrose Redmon
Below are links to the PDF files of my 8 presentations. I am available to share these presentations with your group or organization through Zoom or in person.
Finding Purpose after Brain Injury and Stroke Presentation
Acceptance and Creating a New Normal after Brain Injury and Stroke Presentation
Neuroplasticity, Setting Goals and Creating Hope After Brain Injury and Stroke Presentation
Believing in Ourselves through Self-Advocacy — A Guide to Owning Our Power after Brain Injury and Stroke Presentation
12 Ways to Enhance Our Lives, Well-Beings and Relationships after a Brain Injury and Stroke Presentation
Making Our Lives Magical One Day at a Time after Brain Injury and Stroke Presentation
Cultivating Healthy Relationships after Brain Injury and Stroke Presentation
Living with a Brain Injury and an Invisible Disability – How are You Defining Success? Presentation
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