Through my process and journey living with the impact of a brain injury, I discovered something. Something that got in the way of achieving goals.
What I discovered may also help you to discover what may be getting in your way. Getting in the way of achieving goals.
What I Discovered
What I discovered revealed to me that I had a mindset that kept getting in my way. A mindset that kept me focused on what happened to me. And because of what happened to me I was now limited. Unknowingly, as I focused on what I could no longer do, hope slipped away.
Let me Explain
And as I focused on what I could no longer do, I unconsciously nurtured a victim mentality. This victim mentality kept me focused on my deficits and limitations. In the process, I did not realize that I had a choice in how I looked at my life and my future. Not realizing that I had a choice in the matter, my ambition to succeed drifted away.
Choices and Do they Exist after Brain Injury
By believing that I had no other choice(s), possibilities were not considered to exist. As I continued to believe this lie I took on the identity of my brain injury. Taking on the identity of my brain injury left me believing that I deserved to be stereotyped and stigmatized. Such stereotyping and stigmatization reinforced a learned helplessness.
A learned helplessness that led me to believe that I deserved to be limited by the “box” of societal expectations.
Societal expectations also served to limit me through minimization, marginalization, dismissing and discounting. Such reinforcement undermined my worth and value as an individual. Such reinforcement interfered in my ability to realize that I had the power of “choice”.
But I Am Glad that I Did Not Give Up
When the pain of denying the impact of my traumatic brain injury exceeded my need to deny the impact of my traumatic brain injury I confronted my denial. As I confronted my denial through the grieving process (denial, anger, bargaining, depression) I became aware. In my awareness, I grew in acceptance. As my acceptance grew, so did my ability to recognize the power of choice.
The Power of Choice
The power of choice helped me to realize that I no longer needed to be stuck by the mindset. The mindset that led me to believe that I deserved to be kept in a “box” because of the impact of my traumatic brain injury. In the process, I began to realize that I other options existed. Options that opened the door to being able to create hope in my life despite my limitations and deficits.
I began to realize that I had other choices. I had the choice to consider the possibilities. The possibilities that would help me to win in life. The possibilities of what I could do with my life despite my deficits and limitations. The possibilities that no longer had to be hindered by a label, stereotype or stigmatization. The possibilities that showed me that I could have an awesome life.
An awesome life by doing the footwork and trusting a loving God and the process.
What I Need to Remember to Avoid the Mindset
The mindset that, in practice; can lead the individual to stay focused on the identity of what happened to them.
The mindset that can lead the individual to stay focused on their limitations because of what happened to them.
The mindset that serves to diminish the individual’s sense of worth and value.
The mindset that seduces the individual into believing that they are a victim of the adversity, that has befallen them.
The mindset that leads the individual to believe that their choices are limited. That they are prisoners in their own skin.
The mindset that leads the individual into believing that their dreams have been crushed. That their destinies are too far out of reach.
The mindset that leads the individual to believe that they are a victim of their circumstances, unable to achieve great things with their lives.
The mindset that squelches ambition and motivation.
The mindset that fosters complacency and breeds apathy.
The mindset that leads the individual to believe that they are left to live their lives in anguish.
The mindset which leads the individual to believe that there are limited options.
The mindset that leaves the individual believing that there is little hope of escape.
The Good News
We can move beyond the mindset that by design seeks to define who we are as individuals. The mindset that seeks to limit who we are through a diagnosis, a treatment plan, and a prognosis. We can move beyond the mindset, that leads us to believe that we are limited because of our brain injury. We can move beyond the mindset, that leaves us feeling like prisoners in our own skin.
We can move beyond the mindset that perpetuates a stereotype and stigmatization.
We can live our lives beyond the mindset, to have and accomplish goals with our lives. Achieve goals in ways that work for us. We can live beyond the voices that seek to undermine our hopes, dreams, and destinies. We can move beyond the grasp of a label, a stereotype, and stigmatization to have a good life. We can move beyond the mindset to fulfill our hopes, dreams, and destinies.
Quotes that Inspire You and me to Live beyond the Mindset to Achieve our Goals
“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” Helen Keller
“Insist on yourself, never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another, you have only an extemporaneous half-possession…Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” B.C. Forbes
“Regardless of your lot in life, you can build something beautiful on it.” Zig Ziglar
“Don’t judge your day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” Robert Louis Stevenson
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Theodore Roosevelt
“Absorb what is useful, reject what is useless and add specifically your own creation.” Bruce Lee
“If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau
“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.” Abraham Lincoln
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” Zig Ziglar
“Decision is the spark that ignites action. Until a decision is made, nothing happens.” Wilfred A. Peterson
“Our circumstances are not meant to keep us down, but they are meant to build us up.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
“Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.” Zig Ziglar
“In my experience, I have found that adversity is what has made me successful because I refused to give up because of adversity.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi
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