I had to grieve feeling like a person who was all dressed up with nowhere to go – despite my educational achievements and hard work. I had to grieve the hopes and dreams that my reality seemed to have dashed on the rocks of disappointment and discouragement.
I had to grieve that – in many instances over the years – I was not taken seriously because of my reality. I had to grieve the pain of not knowing how my life had been – for many, many years – impacted by my reality.
I had to grieve the loss of being unable to gain the validation, understanding, and support of some family members and friends.
I had to and still have to grieve a disconnect between people who say that because I look normal, I should no longer be impacted by my traumatic brain injury. I had to and still have to grieve the disconnect between people who — although they believe I should no longer be impacted by my brain injury — still hold me accountable for my invisible deficits and limitations which are related to my traumatic brain injury. I had to and still have to grieve that there are people in my life who say that “they are not buying it, when they are unable to reconcile what they see with what they are unable to see.
I had to grieve and still have to grieve that there are some people in my life – who I would very much like to be able to “get it” — who may never be able to grasp and accept my reality.
I had to grieve and continue to have to grieve the reality that for some people, denying my reality is like a warm blanket that protects them from having to confront, resolve and accept what is simply too painful for them to bear.
Please read Part 5 now by clicking on this link Part 5 of the series. Thank you.
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