Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Thank you. Through my experience, I have discovered several things that have helped me tremendously in my ability to love and accept myself as a traumatic brain injury survivor. I discovered that I had to grieve my reality before I could begin to accept my reality.
“I had to reach a point in my life that denying my reality was more painful than my need to deny my reality in an attempt to prove that there was nothing wrong with me.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
In my experience, I found that I had to grieve my reality through the process of moving through the 5 stages of grieving – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I needed to grieve my reality so that I could begin to:
- Stop buying into both mine and other people’s denial systems, so that I would not feel like a mistake because of the residual deficit and limitations from the injury to my brain injury.
- So that I could recognize when I was being bullied.
- So that I could break free from the denial system that kept me feeling like a mistake – because I was unable to not be affected by the residual deficits and limitations from the injury to my brain injury.
- So that I could stop fighting against myself, while defending the denial system that kept me believing that I was bad and defective because of the residual deficits and limitations from the injury to my brain injury.
- So that I could begin to love, accept and celebrate who I am as an individual who is living with residual deficits and limitations from the injury to my brain.
- So that I could live and explore outside of the box that societal stigmatization sought to keep me in through minimization and marginalization.
- So that I could accept my inability to do some things because of my deficits and limitations and stop berating myself for my inability to do those things.
- So I could find ways to use what I could do through my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that would work for me for people who would want what I had to give.
- So that I could see that disappointments and disillusionment that I experienced for many years as an important parts in my process — to move me from one piece of the puzzle to another and in the direction of my destiny.
- So that I could see that I am not my traumatic brain injury or my invisible disability.
- So that I could see that my circumstances are a way to build me up, not to keep me down.
- So that I could begin to trust the process, a loving God and myself.
- So that I could do the footwork and let go of the outcomes of my footwork.
- So that I could pursue excellence, instead of being driven by perfectionism.
- So that I could accept the things I can not change, change the things I can, have the wisdom to know the difference and then be at peace with that difference.
- So that I could make peace with a loving God and myself.
As read this article and questions come to mind, please send those questions to me. All questions are good question. In the event that you would like to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you. You may send your question (s) or a comment by clicking on this link: Contact Page.
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