Although I had diligently applied myself to both my studies and to different vocational paths doors remained closed to me. After 20 years of getting and losing jobs I found myself staring at some thing that I could no longer deny. My reality. The reality that I attempted to overcompensate for, unsuccessfully. When I reached this point in time in my life I realized that I could no longer compensate to satisfy what was expected of me by family, friends and society. With this realization a door appeared to me. A door that I could open and walk through by grieving my reality. The reality that I could no longer ignore, defend or explain away.
I found myself effectively discounted and dismissed by society. Like a broken toy tossed into a box to be forgotten not needed or wanted. Although I felt like a broken toy, discounted and dismissed by societies standards, I still had a desire to follow my dreams and my destiny.
Although I diligently applied myself academically and vocationally, doors opening to hope did not appear to me.
Although I looked for doors, no doors appeared to me.
In my desire to follow my dreams and my destiny, I discovered some thing very important. A lesson that would lay a foundation upon which I would learn to build. A foundation, that would equip me to follow my dreams and my destiny. A foundation upon which I could build hope. I would like to share what I discovered with you.
When I reached a point in time a door opened to me. The door opening to me was hope.
What Opened the Door of Hope for Me
As shared in my about, I have worked with in both the funeral and cemetery industries while I was in graduate school. During graduate school I gave a presentation on the grieving process and its importance. Grieving helps the individual move from the shock of denial to a place of acceptance. Although I had learned about grieving in terms of a death of a loved one or a friend, I never connected that I needed to grieve. Grieve what I could not change that kept me stuck.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book; On Death and Dying speaks to 5 stages in the process of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages provide a pathway to move through the process of grieving. Apart from moving through the grieving process, however painful; the individual may find themselves “stuck” and unable to move forward with life and living. Thank God that I discovered that I needed to grieve what I had been denying for many years.
To move from a place that kept me stuck, I needed to move through the 5 stages of grieving. These 5 stages helped me to move from a place of denial to a place of acceptance. Acceptance gave me the ability to get into action, to realize that I had choices.
To be able to begin to lay upon the foundation of hope I needed to grow in my awareness and acceptance. I needed to grow in awareness and acceptance in order to be able to get into action. Action that would help me to realize that I had choices. Action that gave me the ability to create hope in my life. By using the principles of the grieving process I was able to get into action. Action that empowered my ability to realize new possibilities. Possibilities that would open the door of hope to me.
Moving through the grieving process gave me the ability to stop staring at a door that was not going to open. Moving through the 5 stages of the grieving process gave me the ability to start recognizing doors that had and were opening for me. Door that would help me to create hope in my life.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller
“Regardless of your lot in life, you can build some thing beautiful on it.” Zig Ziglar
“Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things.” Frank A. Clark
“Our circumstances are not meant to keep us down, but they are meant to build us up.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
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