Hi, and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am glad to see you decided to stop by and visit with me. I have been thinking about you. I have been thinking about me. You and I were created to be the expression of our beings. I believe that our being resides deep within our heart of hearts. At the seat of our being resides a longing to express the essence of who we were created to become in this life — our meaning and purpose.
Too often we loose parts of ourselves in our attempt to go along to get along. In our attempt to keep from being rejected or misunderstood we discount who we are at the core of our being. What is not acceptable gets buried and forgotten. Our passion (s) then lie dormant under the fear that we will lose the very thing we are seeking to claim — if we pursue what is unacceptable. Slowly we find ourselves denying, discounting and even discarding parts of ourselves.
In our hopes of claiming what lies with in, we ignore what cries out to be heard. We ransom the beauty that lies with in, in our attempt to secure what will always be out of our grasp. We are duped into trading the beauty that lies with in, in order to be conditioned to live vicariously. Slowly our soul shrinks as we are led to believe that our truth does not matter. In the process we loose ourselves.
For many years I was led to believe that I needed to discard parts of me. I was also led to believe what other people thought of me was more important than what I thought about myself. As a result, I set off on a crusade to prove my worth and value. In the process I became a human doing. Doing became more important than being.
The illusion of the golden carrot dangled just out of my reach. In my efforts to appease the required expectation I strove all the more. You see I believed that I needed to give up me in order to be loved and accepted by my family, peers and significant others. In the process, I acquired an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. I was also led to believe that I needed to fix people, so that I would be OK with them, so I could be OK with me.
When I reached an emotional bottom, I began to look for the reasons why my life was not working for me. Because my efforts proved to be grossly ineffective I desperately needed to make changes. The dance I had been doing with other people needed to stop. In my awareness, I longed to find the missing pieces of myself that I had discarded in my attempts to be loved, accepted and valued as a person.
Through my process, I began to realize that my worth and value was not found outside of me. Consequently, I started to embrace the beauty that is with in me. My being has progressively become the priority. As I have learned to love and accept myself, I have been able to find some of the missing pieces. As I own and accept those missing pieces I am empowered to grow through my being while using my gifts, talents and abilities.
Today, I choose to embrace the little boy who experienced a traumatic brain injury in 1967. I am learning to nurture the child and teenager who were misunderstood for so many years. As an adult, I am learning to integrate all of who I am at the core of my being. I am learning how to channel who I am through my body, soul and spirit. I am learning to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for me. I am learning to truly live.
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