Please read Part 1 for context. Thank you.
I began to experience hope because I realized that I could change the way in which I experienced life.
Through working my 4th and 5th step I began to realize what kept me connected to my fear of abandonment. Through working with a sponsor I began to realize what left me feeling abandoned and alienated from my relationships. My 4th and 5th steps helped me to realize that the choices that I had made undermined my ability to trust and thus feeling abandoned, alienated and isolated. With the help of my sponsor, I was slowly able to make some changes. These changes enhanced my ability to trust.
Using a metaphor, I was able to first trust in pennies, then in nickels, dimes, quarters, fifty-cent pieces, dollars and so on. As I learned to trust my sponsor and other people with in my 12 step program, I slowly began to realize that I could trust the God of my understanding.
As my trust in the God of my understanding increased exponentially as I continued to work through the 12 steps with my sponsor — so did my ability to make peace with myself and my fellows. As I worked through steps 6 through 12 I began to realize that I could live my life with meaning and purpose. I discovered that I could invite the God of my understanding to be a part of every facet of my life and being. With my new found awareness I realized that I could trust the process, a loving God and myself.
Through making the decision to trust the process, a loving God and myself, I have been able to practice the principle of live and let live. In the process of practicing the principle of live and let live, I have been able to detach myself from unhealthy individuals, groups, organizations and religious institutions. Please read my article: Who am I…
Through learning to detach myself from toxic individuals, groups, organizations and religious institutions I have been able to do something different. I could learn how to trust in ways that were healthy for me. In the process, I discovered that I could trust with out first having to predicate my worth or value. Consequently, I could learn how to be…just because I am. I could learn how to trust trustworthy people — who would not threaten me with abandonment if I did not measure up to “expectations”.
With my spiritual awakenings, I began to realize that I could trade my fear of abandonment and my feelings of alienation and isolation with a sense of connectedness, belonging and security.
In my experience and through my process I found hope.
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