Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Thank you. As an individual living with a brain injury, I struggle with three issues in life: three issues as they relate to my living with a brain injury and an invisible disability. During the past week, each of these issues were triggered by three separate individuals.
One of these issues leave me feeling frustrated, inadequate and unlovable. A combination of the three issues left me feeling disorientated and depressed.
The combination of the three issues / messages led me to begin doubting, questioning and challenging who I am at the core of my being. You see, I found myself listening to and being challenged by individuals who — by what they said — shamed me for not doing enough or being enough. I am not sure why they said what they did to me, however what they said to me triggered an internal struggle.
These 3 issues encapsulate what I struggle with in my life from time to time.
The first comment stated that I should be working to stimulate the economy instead of “claiming that you are disabled because of a brain injury”. The second comment stated that “there are people far more severely disabled than you, who are doing more with their lives than you are”. The third comment stated that “you have nothing to offer today’s woman to want to be in a relationship with you.”
By examining each comment and the message inherent with in the comment, I realize that each comment and message is based in denial and ignorance.
Nevertheless, if I buy into these messages — for very long — I will not be any good to myself, much less to anyone else.The reality is that I do not relish living below the poverty line, that I am impacting lives in a positive manner through Second Chance to Live and that a loving God has the right woman for me, given my situation, my economic status and my brain injury foibles.
Bottom line is that I powerless over what other people chose to think about my reality. Bottom line is that I am not powerless over my ability to do the work — to learn to accept my reality and then to learn to thrive with in my reality.
Word of Appreciation
I want to thank each of you who have sent a comment to let me know how Second Chance to Live is impacting your quality of life. Your comments and thoughts are a tremendous blessing to me. Thank you also for your friendship and your prayers. Your encouragement reminds me that I am not alone — whenever I am confronted with these 3 issues and your prayers help to carry me when I struggle.
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Craig,
Comments based on denial and ignorance hurt to our very core. Thanks for being so open and honest about how these things affect you. As a person with an invisible disability and a care giver for persons with TBI, negativity from others can deeply affect us. Success cannot be measured by income, although some people act that way. That doesn’t make it any easier to cope, though, living below the poverty line. Finding creative solutions on how to juggle paying bills when the money is just not there is tricky.
I want you to know how much of a positive impact you are making on those with disabilities, especially brain injury, and their loved ones.
God helps us day by day, as we allow Him. Really, without Him right by my side, I cannot get through the day!! Be encouraged, you are enough, just like you are, and you are making a huge difference, even though you may not ever see it in this lifetime!!
Reading your blog has given me insight on how to help/encourage “my guys” with TBI. Thanks.Praying for you.
Hi Janice,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to send me a comment and for your words of encouragement. You are a tremendous blessing to me. I believe that there is tremendous power in identification. I share my struggles and experiences on Second Chance to Live to encourage and empower the people who read the articles to realize that they are not alone. The power of identification serves to bring people out of isolation and in the process sets them free from feelings of alienation. I agree completely with you. We are not our traumatic brain injuries or our acquired brain injuries. I wrote an article some time ago on the topic of using our gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for us. If you would like to read that article my friend simply click on the title Brain Injury, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect and Significance
I completely agree with you. Our gifts, talents and abilities are not of us, but through us. Gifts, talents and abilities that are on loan from God. We just get to go along for the ride. I appreciate your words of encouragement. I need to remember that — we may never know the lives we touch on this side of heaven. I like quotes and there is one by Robert Louis Stevenson that I think about occasionally, “Do not judge your day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” Paul in 2 Corinthians spoke to this matter. Jesus also spoke to the matter. One sows and another reaps. Jesus stated the we enter into other people’s labor. I believe that the process — the journey — is more important than any outcome. When I do the footwork — as I feel led — and trust God with the outcomes and the big picture, I am a much happier person.
Thank you again for taking the time to send me a comment and for what you shared with me Janice. You are a tremendous blessing to me. Thank you also for your prayers. Those prayers make a huge difference for / in my life!!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and may God richly bless both you and your family Janice.
Craig