Living with a brain injury can leave you and me feeling vulnerable to bullying and intimidation.
Below are several definitions of bullying and intimidation, as well as what helped me to become aware and then find freedom from bullying and intimidation.
Defining Bullying and Intimidation
Bullying in the form of intimidation. Merriam Webster defines intimidation as: to make timid or fearful: frighten; especially: to compel or deter by or as if by threats.
Dictionary.com defines intimidation as to make timid; fill with fear, to overawe or cow, at through force of personality or by superior display of wealth, talent, etc., to force into or deter from action by inducing fear.
Being Timid
Vocabulary.com defines intimidation as: You can see “timid” in the middle of intimidating, and to be timid is to be frightened or to pull back from something. When you intimidate, you frighten or make someone afraid.”
To frighten” or “make fearful” is at the root of the verb intimidate. Intimidation can be mental, emotional, spiritual and physical or a combination of one or more ways.
Figuring Out What Works
As individuals living with brain injuries we are in the process of figuring out how to live our lives and what works for us. Because we are in the process of figuring out how to live our lives, we may feel vulnerable. In our vulnerability, we may find ourselves guessing at what is normal. In the process of trying to sort things out, we may find ourselves questioning our judgment. We may also be struggling to trust ourselves.
Trading Our Judgment
In response, we may find that we are trading our judgment for other people’s judgment. In the process, we may unknowingly entrust ourselves to untrustworthy people. In our vulnerability, these individuals may seek to take advantage of us. Once we invite them into our lives, they may use different ways to control, manipulate and intimidate us for their own agendas. For their own gain.
Being Vulnerable
Being vulnerable can leave or open us to up to being bullied. Being vulnerable can lead you and me to being susceptible to being bullied. As a result, we may be led to believe that we can not trust ourselves. By not trusting ourselves we may be led to believe what other people want us to believe about ourselves. Through buying into those beliefs, we may find that we deserve to be mistreated and bullied.
Such Treatment
Such treatment and bullying can lead us to believe that we don’t deserve to be more than we are led to believe about ourselves. What we are led to believe about ourselves by individuals who seek to take advantage of our being vulnerable.
A vulnerability that we may have experienced even before we sustained our brain injuries. In November 2007 I wrote a 2 Part article to share some awareness’s that helped me to understand what set me up. What set me up to be bullied and intimidated.
The information within this 2 part article may also help you to also understand why (maybe unconsciously) you may believe that you deserve to be bullied and intimidated.
To read the article click on each link:
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Identified Patient – Conflict, Secrets, Unresolved Emotional Pain Part 1
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Identified Patient – Actors or Reactors Part 2
Finding Freedom From Bullying
In April 2010 I wrote a 7 Part article in which I shared what I learned about bullying and what helped to set me free., Set me free from the impact of being bullied. The information helped me to take a different course of action. A different course of action as I interact with individuals. Individuals who seek to take advantage of my being vulnerable. Vulnerable as I figured out how to navigate through life living with the impact of a brain injury.
As I became aware, I became less vulnerable. As I became less vulnerable, I found new freedom. Freedom to be aware. Freedom to be me. Freedom to ask for what I need without fear. Freedom from the impact of being bullied. Freedom to trust.
To read the article click on each link:
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully — Carrying Shame Part 1
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully — Being Distracted Part 2
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully — Perfectionism Part 3
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully — Losing Myself Part 4
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully — Overcoming Shame Part 5
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully — A Change of Perspective Part 6
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully — A Way Out Part 7
Through Becoming Aware
Through becoming aware and finding freedom I discovered that I no longer had to remain vulnerable or intimidated by bullies. Instead, I could recognize them and take steps to take care of myself. Take care of myself when bullies seek to take advantage of my vulnerability through intimidation. Intimidation that can often present itself in subtle ways, with the motivation to control and manipulate you and I. Control and manipulate you and I to fulfill their agendas, for their plans and purposes. Plans and purposes to exploit and take advantage of our being vulnerable.
Bullies Do Not Have to Be Limited to Individuals
In my experience, I have found that being bullied does not have to be limited to individuals.. In my experience, I have found myself bullied by groups of individuals. In April 2013 I wrote a 3 part article to share what I discovered through being bullied by different groups: Is the Group that You are In Hurting You — Are You Being Bullied?
Groups, Organizations and Churches
In my experience, I had to detach myself from groups, organizations, and churches that sought to control and manipulate to fulfill their agendas.
To read the article click on each link:
Is the Group that You are In Hurting You? — Are you being Bullied? — Patterns Part 1
Is the Group that You are In Hurting You? — Are you being Bullied? — Adopting the Identity of the Group Part 2
Is the Group that You are In Hurting You? — Are you being Bullied? — Additional Insights Part 3
Being Bullied is Not Your Fault
In the event that you find yourself being bullied (be it physical, mental, emotional, spiritual or psychological) realize that you are not at fault. Bullies do what they do to intimidate, control and manipulate for their own gain.
Bullies do not have your best interest in mind. In the event that you find yourself being bullied, speak to someone and let them know what you are experiencing.
Being bullied is not about you. Recognize what is going on and detach yourself from the group, organization or church. Groups, organizations and churches that bully do not have your best interest in mind.
Learning How to Trust
I needed to detach myself from these groups, organizations and churches in order to begin to learn how to trust again.
To learn how to trust my judgment.
To learn how to trust me.
To learn how to trust a loving God.
To learn how to trust trustworthy people.
To learn how to establish healthy relationships with individuals.
To learn how to establish healthy relationships with groups, organizations and churches.
“I realized that bullying never has to do with you. It’s the bully who’s insecure.” Shay Mitchell
You have my permission to share my articles and or video presentations with anyone you believe could benefit, however, I maintain ownership of the intellectual property AND my articles, video presentations and e Books are not to be considered OPEN SOURCE. Please also provide a link back to Second Chance to Live. In the event that you have questions, please send those questions to me. All questions are good questions. I look forward to hearing from you. More Information: Copyright 2007 -2019.
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