In the event that you have not read Part 1 and Part 2 of this article, please click on the following links:
Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury — Am I Being Manipulated? Awareness Part 1
Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury — Am I Being Manipulated? Impact Part 2
In my experience, shame has the effect on me, as when a deer is caught in the headlights of a vehicle. In the headlights, the deer can neither think or move. Shame has a similar impact upon me, in that when I am faced with shame, I feel stuck — metaphorically speaking — and do not know what to do.
In Part 1 of this article I shared what I learned about how shame sets individuals up to be manipulated. In Part 2 of this article series, I shared how shame impacted my life and relationships. In this 3rd and final part of this series, I will share some of the solutions and strategies that help me when I am faced with the impact of shame.
Note: My recovery process from the impact of debilitating shame and the effects of toxic shame based codependency — as described in the dance in Part 2 — began when I reached an emotional bottom in my life. The pain of that emotional bottom motivated me to do what I saw was working in the lives of individual who were working a program of recovery.
In my experience and through my recovery process I use tools and strategies to help me to recognize when I am being shamed and manipulated. These tools and strategies help me to move and walk away from the impact that debilitating shame has upon my life. I do not use these tools and strategies perfectly, however when I work them, they work for me.
I have previously written a 2 part article series and created a 2 part video presentation to share what I learned through my recovery process. Below I will provide a link to both series.
What I share in the article and video series is an ongoing process. I have not arrived, however I have found that when I use these solutions and strategies, I am better able to recognize when I am being shamed and manipulated. Through being aware of when I am being shamed and manipulated, I am better able to make healthier choices with whom I spend my time.
Article Series
Second Chance to Live — Action Steps Revisited — An Overview Part 1
Second Chance to Live — Action Steps Revisited — A Synopsis Part 2
Video Presentation Series
Second Chance to Live — Action Steps Revisited — An Overview Video Presentation Part 1
Second Chance to Live — Action Steps Revisited — A Synopsis Video Presentation Part 2
You have my permission to share my articles and or video presentations with anyone you believe could benefit, however, please attribute me as being the author of the article (s) video presentation (s), and provide a link back to the article (s) on Second Chance to Live. In the event that you have questions, please send those questions to me. All questions are good questions. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you. Copyright 2016.
Craig, Thank you for your positive attitude on dealing with dissapointments, challenges in life. Your kind comments of gratefulness are very encouraging. I like how you always thank us for visiting and really like the statement of not giving up on yourself and a loving God. This is great to be reminded. I am grateful of His eternal love. I really enjoy reading it over and over!!! I am a caregiver so I really appreciate your insight. The more I can understand the more I can hopefully help my friend.
God Bless you abundantly, and keep up your wonderful posts!
Nancy
Hi Nancy, Thank you so very much. You are a blessing to me Nancy. Thank you! I appreciate you highlighting what you find to be helpful. I, too am very grateful that I was led down a recovery path that taught me to trust a loving God and gave me hope. I am grateful that I can learn from what happens in my life, instead criticizing and berating myself. Thank God that I learned the lesson that I can trust the process, a loving God and myself. Thank God that I learned the lesson that my circumstances are not meant to keep me down, but to build me up my friend. Thank God that I have a program of recovery, that although I do not work it perfectly gives me the answers I seek when I use the program. This too is a process, and it just takes what it takes. Thank you again for your ongoing friendship and for your encouragement Nancy. Have a great day and fun with your time. Craig