In the event that you have not watched Part 1 of this presentation, I would encourage you to do so, in addition to watching Part 2 of this video presentation. You may watch Part 1 by clicking here: Part 1
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Thank you. In today’s article, I am going to introduce Part 2 of the article, Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury and the Grieving Process. Below is an excerpt from Part 2 of the article.
“Before I began my grief work, I saw denial as an ally. When anguish motivated me to begin my grieving process I began to see denial as an active adversary. As my eyes slowly opened I saw that denial was seeking to keep me trapped in a system that would or could not allow me to realize or accept my reality. In collusion with my fear (s), denial shamed me for not being enough even though I sought to do my very best. Denial also sought to keep me distracted so that I could not see a way to my destiny. Denial led me to believe that I was my disability, deficits and limitations.
Denial minimized my passion and discounted my gifts, talents and abilities. Denial — in practice — sought to silence my voice. Denial kept me shrouded by a societal stigma that devalued my worth because of my traumatic brain injury. Denial kept me subservient to what other people thought of me. Denial undermined my self-worth and self-esteem. Denial kept me crouched in the shadows of isolation. Denial told me that what I thought and felt were of no accord. Denial sought to keep me distracted so that I could not see the truth. Denial sought to disparage my value and worth because I did not live up to denial’s expectations.”
To watch Part 2 of the video series, please click on the following link: Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury and the Grieving Process Part 2 Video Presentation
In the event that you would like to read Part 2 of the article, please click on the following link: Living with a Traumatic Brain Injury and the Grieving Process Part 2
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Hi Craig. I’d be interested in learning what exactly you were in “denial” about. Since denial is considered a “defense mechanism” whose goal is to protect us from a painful reality, I’m curious to learn more about what it was you were in denial about that resulted in your feeling shame. You wrote that denial shamed you for not being enough, but isn’t that exactly the opposite of what the stage of denial is all about? I understand the experiences of each stage differs from person to person, but I’m not understanding denial’s role in “disparaging your value and worth”. That sounds more like the Stage of “Anger” rather than “Denial”. For example, for me, I might say that my Denial Stage included holding onto my musical instruments rather than selling them because I told myself I’d be able to play them again, even though the reality of it was that doing so would be impossible. And that my plan to continue working at my job was a reality, even though the truth was that there was no way my health and physical limitations would permit me to continue working at my my job. By denying these realities, I was protecting myself from having to grieve the losses of my abilities and aspirations. Hence, denial was a defense mechanism. So again, I’d be interested to learn what you were in denial about. Thank you.
Hi Adrienne,
That I should be able to do more than I could. That there was some thing inherently wrong with me because I could not overcome what I was powerless over. I have written a series of articles that will answer what you ask in your comment concerning shame. I have written articles in which I speak to how shame impacted my ability to grieve and come to a place of acceptance to discover what I could do — to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that would work for4 me. I provide links to those article below. Give the articles a read. I believe you will understand more of the awareness I gained through my process Adrienne.
I will say so long for now. Have a pleasant evening.
Craig
Whose Shame are You Carrying?
Displaced Sadness
How Fast Are You Running?
What Is Keeping You Stuck?
Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, and Don’t Feel
The Three Rules Revisited–Consequences
My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability
My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability — Part 2
My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability — Part 3
My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability — Part 4
The Art of Change
Having an Invisible Disability — The Consequence of Denying my Reality — Part 1
Having an Invisible Disability — The Consequence of Denying my Reality — Part 2
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — On the Road to Healing — Part 1
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — On the Road to Healing –Awareness — Part 2
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — On the Road to Healing — Acceptance — Part 3
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — On the Road to Healing — Action — Part 4
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — Coming out of Isolation — Part 5
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — Breaking Free — Part 6
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Make it a Good Day — No Longer in the Shadows — Part 7
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers me to Go and Make it a Good Day — Exchanging a lie for the truth — Part 8
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — On the Road to Healing — Learning to Trust — Part 9
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — On the Road to Healing — Empowerment — Part 10