Hi and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by and visit with me. You are always welcome at my table. Approximately 14 months ago I wrote and published an article with in Second Chance Live. Because of a series of comments that I have recently received I decided to reprint part of that article with in this post.
In my experience I allowed rejection to pillage my life for many years until I started to address and confront my denial, anger and resentments. Through my process, I discovered that I needed to be responsible to and for my reactions to life.
Throughout many years of my life, rejection was a very familiar companion. I was battered about on many fronts by this haunting message; “You are not enough”. In my attempts to silence rejection’s echo, people pleasing and approval seeking became a way of life. When this behavior did not interrupt rejection’s clamoring, I progressively internalized rejection’s deliberation: alienation.
Not only did I feel alienated from others, as one cast into dark despair, but more so from myself. Instead of siding with myself, I began siding with those who rejected me. Not only did I side with what they thought; I joined them in their discourse.
Self-criticism progressed to self-hate as I listened to the voice of contempt. As I joined in the confirming of my unworthiness, an emotional cancer ate away at my being. Although I attempted to quell the tide of criticism, I felt defenseless. Debilitating guilt spiraled into debilitating shame. My attempts to invalidate my sense of scorn seemed pointless. I feel into an abyss of isolation.
Thank God that I did not give up on myself or on the process. After beginning my own recovery process, my spiritual eyes started to open. Through active participation in my recovery process, I received a spiritual resuscitation. Slowly, my eyes were opened and I received the treatments, necessary to shrink and then kill the cancer of rejection. Debilitating shame was replaced with self-acceptance and self-love.
Although I may experience rejection from ill-informed people, I no longer need to join in the chorus of their disapproval. I may never “measure up” to the validation of some people, and that is fine with me. I have come to believe that my opinion of me is what matters and I like myself. I now know that my best is good enough. I now recognize the once loud clamoring echo of rejection as a faint whisper. The voice of my value and experience shouts at the whisper, when it attempts to be heard.
Receive more articles like this one simply by clicking on Subscribe to Second Chance to Live by email.
Subscribe to Second Chance to Live, Bookmark and Share Second Chance to Live with your friends through a Feed Reader
All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA
richarda says
Dear Craig,
Could I have your email address? I’d like to share my personal experience in living with rejections, if you don’t mind.
Many thanks.
Warm Regards,
Richarda
secondchancetolive says
Hello Richarda,
On March 22 you sent a comment requesting my email address because you wanted to share your personal experience living with rejections. I responded by sending you my email address, however I did not hear back from you Richarda. I hope you are OK. When you have the chance, send me an email and share your experience with me. I may be able to share something that will help you.
Thank you again for writing to me. I look forward to hearing from you.
Have a pleasant evening and God bless you and your family Richarda.
Craig
Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
Second Chance to Live
https://secondchancetolive.org/
Our circumstances are not meant to keep us down, but to build us up!