Welcome home. You may be startled by my assertion. You may also find yourself puzzled with how I could somehow suggest that being at Second Chance to Live would bring you home. Let me clarify my position. My hope is that each time you visit Second Chance to Live you are pointed home. Home is where we feel at peace, where we can truly be ourselves. Home for some of us may not have been a safe place where we could find peace for our weary souls. We may not have felt safe being ourselves in the homes where we have lived. We may have instead believed that we needed to be more than in order to feel accepted in our homes. We may have believed that our presence was not accepted in our homes unless we performed to expectation. Home for some of us was seldom a safe place because we felt that our worth and value had to be justified. You and I may never have been able to measure up to the expectations of our fathers so we seldom felt secure at home. Any sense of security was diminished through debilitating guilt and debilitating shame. Although we may have longed for peace and security within our homes, none could be found. Some of us turned to various addictions to numb our sense of insecurity. Others of us sought to create or establish a sense of peace and security in our homes, however no such serenity could be found or created.
Through my process I have grown in my awareness. In my awareness, I have discovered a simple but profound truth. Home can not be found in any physical residence. Home can not be found in my Mom’s, brother’s or sister’s place of residence. Home is a state of mind that I create within my being. When I am at home with myself I no longer need to defend, answer or explain why I can not do more or be more. At home, I have the freedom to live life on life’s terms while I learn from my experiences and circumstances. I am able to rest in the reality that my circumstances are not meant to keep me down, but to build me up. When I am at home with myself, I no longer need to believe that I am destined to endure what is out of my control. Being home gives me the assurance that I have an abundance of choices. At home I am not victimized by critical and limiting voices. Home instead becomes a place of refuge where my needs are met. When I am at home with myself I can practice rigorous honesty. Home becomes a place where I know I can trust a loving God because I am unconditionally loved and accepted by Him. His everlasting love gives me freedom from debilitating guilt and debilitating shame. When I am at home with myself I am able to celebrate in my process. When I am at home with myself I no longer need to feel home sick.
When I started practicing self-acceptance through self-awareness I was able to find my home. As I began to love myself, just because I am, I was able experience peace and security. I found that my home was a place where my heart could rest and I could cease from striving. When I am truly at home with myself, I am able to create with my being. Being home gives me the freedom to explore with my creative uniqueness. When I am at home with myself, I am able to cease from striving because I no longer have a need to be more than I am. I am able to rest in the assurance that I can be at peace with myself. When we make the decision to accept ourselves for who we are in this life, a door to our home begins to open. Life reveals new meaning and purpose because we no longer have the need to find another place of refuge. Storms in life may come and go but our home remains secure. When we are at home we can trust the process.
Finding my home took what it took. I had to become sick and tired of being sick and tired of trying to live in another person’s home before I was willing to look for mine. My frustration motivated me to stop looking outside of myself to find a home. You may be reaching a place in your life where you are tired of living in another person’s home. My encouragement to you my friend would be to read more of Second Chance to Live. I share from my experience, strength and hope and from what has worked for me. I don’t believe you will be disappointed that you took the time to read my material. Our circumstances are not meant to keep us down, but to build us up. When we determine to live life on life’s terms and become solution driven rather than problem centered we begin to live as victors, and stop living as victims.
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Craig, this is an excellent post. The implications are profound since it is so true that our truest home is when we’ve made peace with ourselves. Excellent!