“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed-door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller
In a recent article, Opening the Door to Hope; I spoke to the need to face and address loss. Loss that I am powerless to change. Loss that interferes with my ability to move on with life.
What I Discovered
In my experience, I discovered that I needed to reach a bottom before I was able to face my denial.
The denial that seeks to keep me believing that I had no other choices.
The denial that seeks to kept me fixated on the door that was closed for me.
Denial that leads me to believe that I am a victim of my circumstances.
What my Experience has Taught me
Denial can be likened to a warm blanket that shields and protects. Nevertheless, after a time, denial only serves to mask feelings that fester, undermine and cripple.
Denial searches to make someone else responsible for…Denial perpetuates feelings of helplessness and keeps the individual focused on what can not be changed.
Denial interferes, as it seeks to justify and legitimate through blame, shame and scapegoating.
But the reality is that no one is to blame. Pointing fingers in anyone’s direction does no one any good.
Prone to Re-Injury
Denial seeks to keep the individual stuck and prone to re-injury.
Re-injury to their mind, body, soul, and spirit.
Re-injury that only promotes unrest.
Re-injury that acts and works like a cancer that devours from with in the individual.
Good News
But the good news is that denial no longer has to limit, cripple or undermine.
Little by little, by focusing on what I can change; the pain that once stymied me becomes a catalyst and a guide for change.
A Catalyst and a Guide to Change that reminds me that I have Choices
A catalyst that motivates and a guide to lead me through the open door created through the grieving process.
A process that opens my eyes to see the possibilities that exist on the other side of the door.
What I Need to Remember
I don’t have the big picture. Doors close For me and not To me.
Although I may not like that a door has been closed to me, I realize that closed-door motivates me to look for an opened door.
My experience has also taught me that I don’t have to go through this process on my own.
I can ask a loving God to help me to be honest with myself.
I can ask a loving God to help me to change attitudes and behaviors that no longer work for me and keep me stuck.
Although I may not understand why the door has or is closing for me I can trust that a loving God is doing for me what I can not do for myself.
I can ask a loving God to give me the ability to see the door that has or is being opened For me.
I can ask a loving God to help me to walk through the door.
I can ask a loving God to help me to create new possibilities on the other side of the door that has opened for me.
I can trust the process, a loving God and my ability to learn from and through the process of walking through the open door.
“I feel that as long as you’re honest, you have the opportunity to grow. It’s when you shut down, go into denial, and try to start hiding things from yourself and others, that’s when you lock in certain behaviors and attitudes that keep you stuck.” Tracy McMillan
Please read my article Creating Hope One Ingredient at a Time by clicking on this link: Creating a Good Life Through One Ingredient at a Time
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