After being terminated, told my services were no longer needed, or asked to not come back I found myself dumbfounded and bewildered. Although I had diligently applied myself to what I sought to accomplish I found what I had to offer not being received. Consequently, I internalized my inability to be successful in social and work settings as a personality flaw. I found myself buying into a denial system that told me I should not be impacted by my traumatic brain injury. And then one day I woke up to my reality. I did not have to buy into believing that there was something “wrong” with me. Today I know that I am enough, actually MORE than enough. My traumatic brain injury — 40 years ago — set me on a course to be infinitely successful.
I am learning how to channel my gifts, talents and abilities in such a way to encourage, motivate and empower through my experience, strength and hope. Please read my 3 part series, My Journey thus Far. I thank God that I did not give up on my process. Although for many years I felt like some one all dressed up with no where to go, I am now living through my meaning and purpose. I am living my dream. Second Chance to Live has become the channel that allows me to use what I have been given through a medium that works for me. Although the years of disappointment seemed to be for naught, I now realize that I was being prepared to follow my destiny. The switch – my traumatic brain injury — on the railroad of life was not a detour away from my destiny, but instead a fast track in the scope of my lifetime to point me in the direction of my destiny.
You may be confronted circumstances that simply do not make any sense to you. You may be angry at God, life and country. Being angry is part of the grieving process. Allow yourself to go through the stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Grieving is very necessary to the healing process. God can handle your anger. He is not mad at you, but is madly in love with you. Take time to grieve your frustration and disappointment. I had to grieve the loss of the way I thought my hard work was going to position me in life. Once I grieved my loss I was able to begin to look for solutions.
The answer is in the solution, not in what we perceive to be the problem.
After you have grieved your loss, take courage my friend. You are being led in the direction of your destiny through the circumstances that life is providing. Please read my post, Following your bliss…regardless. You are not your disability, your limitations or your deficits. Your passion did not change when you were injured in the line of duty. Realize that a wonderful switch has been turned on the railroad of your life. You are being prepared for something that you can not comprehend at this time in your life my friend. Be encouraged, your circumstances are not meant to keep you down, but they are meant to build you up.
Our circumstances provide the lessons that create the experiences that prepare you and I to take advantage of the opportunities that become available to us. These opportunities are in turn directing you and I in the direction of our destinies. Be encouraged my friend. More will be revealed.
If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with success unexpected in common hours.
Henry David Thoreau
All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA
Hello. I just read about your website yesterday on http://www.fredsheadcompanion.blogspot.com. I have been blind since birth and am now 34 years old. I have a sighted brother-in-law who is in the service. Right after the terrorist attacks of Sept.11, 2001 he served time in Afghanistan, and then not long after he returned he and his unit were deployed to Iraq. Now he is teaching at Westpoint, and he and my sister live not far from there. But I’d like to tell you my story, or at least part of it. As I mentioned I was born blind. I have Leber’s Congenital Amaurosis, and as part of that I have some accompanying challenges. I have a slight learning disability and a slight problem with motor coordination. In 1994 I successfully completed 4 great years of high school, and received my diploma. In about May of that year I met my first voc/rehab counselor. He very warmly shook my hand and greeted me, and he briefly discussed what he’d be doing with me. It didn’t take me and my parents long to realize, however, that this counselor moved extremely slow and was not good about returning phone calls. Forget the mention of email because his office didn’t even have it, or at least not as far as we could tell. What’s more, he wasn’t at all quick to respond to printed communication either. As my parents and I later found out this was more or less the way the VR system in Illinois operated. So this counselor finally retired, but he did so very quietly. None of us knew about it until long after the fact. To make a long story short, I haven’t made much progress at all with VR other than going through a rehab-training program. This program was honestly not the greatest for me, but I did learn a few things. I have since learned a lot about the National Federation of the Blind and the American Council of the Blind. I’ve come to understand that the NFB more or less has a “my way or the highway” attitude toward life, and that this way of thinking has for the most part made its way into our nation’s VR system. What seems to be happening is that people with multiple challenges, like myself, are not being told everything we need to know. For example, I have probably gone through about 7 or 8 different VR counselors, and it just seemed like none of them communicated with each other. There was absolutely no consistency or follow-through. I went to a mock interview clinic conducted by the VR agency, and while other participants received feedback I didn’t. My “job coach” at the Chicago Lighthouse was of no help. I attended an employment seminar with my mom on Friday of last week, and we did get some very good information which I am trying to follow up on. One of the presenters at the seminar was from Disabilityworks, and I have signed up to receive their emails. But for whatever reason it seems as though nothing is changing with respect to VR, and that in my mind is very unfortunate. There are a lot of us who have multiple challenges but who are very talented and do indeed want to work and to prove ourselves capable in the real world. I have been doing some volunteer transcription for a local senior center, and I am an admin assistant at a local nonprofit. But I only go there part-time, about one time a month. If they need me to fill in for someone I go twice or three times a month. As much as I love doing what I’m doing, it just isn’t enough. My parents and others really want me to be doing more, and I feel the same way. But the barrier is VR. Sorry for the long-winded comment. Keep the faith, and keep doing what you’re doing.
Hi Jake,
Thank you so very much for your time and kindness. I appreciate you telling part of your story. In my lifetime, I have found that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I have frequently gotten because I persistently made my needs known within the system. I have worked with in the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation in Florida and have been a client of Vocational Rehabilitation in both Florida and North Carolina. Consequently, I have worked in and received services from a similiar system as the one you have been interacting with my friend. I can and do empathize with your struggles. I have been there too. I have written a 2 part series, My View of Politicians, Government Programs and Federal Agencies https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/08/11/my-view-of-politicians-government-programs-and-federal-agencies-%e2%80%93part-1/
I salute you for being proactive in your own process. My encouragement to you my friend would be to follow your bliss. I have written a post, Following your bliss…regardless https://secondchancetolive.org/2007/04/30/passion/ Please read that post and find ways that work for you with your circumstances.
I have a friend by the name of Ron Graham who is blind. He has a master’s degree in Clinical Psychology, that he obtained after becoming blind. His web site is http://accessability.blogspot.com/. I would encourage you to contact him as he may be able to shed some light — so to say — on how to make your circumstances work for you. If you contact him and his email address is accessabilityblog@yahoo.com you can tell him I pointed you in his direction. I will tell him about you Jake. I think he would be a great resource to you. He is very kind and has helped me on several occasions. Give him a shout and see what he has to say my friend.
I hope the above has been helpful. Please do not hesitate to contact me in the future.
God speed to you Jake. God bless you, your brother and sister and your family!!!
Craig
The suggestion to “follow your bliss” is fantastic advice for anyone, regardless of current health or well-being. This is an invitation to get in touch with the soul and to listen to the heart as well.