I have been thinking about how self-talk affects my mood. I find that I need to be diligent to notice what I am telling myself, about myself’; and my experience. In May of 2007 I wrote an article Who is limiting you? in which I shared a list of limiting scripts. Scripts, like those that an actor uses in a play or a movie that set the stage for how we live our lives. Unlike an actor in a play or a movie who intentionally acts out the script, I may unknowingly find myself acting out a play — my life and well-being — that undermines and disparages my existence. In the process, I may in turn find that I am unknowingly living a lie.
Consequently, apart from challenging these limiting scripts and messages, I may find myself living my life out of a set of messages that were never meant to be a part of who I am as an individual. In the process, I may find that my life has been undermined by a set of messages that I could have easily refuted, if I had only just been aware. But, thank God that I am aware. With my awareness, I have and am able to examine the origins of these limiting script and messages. By examining the origins of these limiting scripts and messages, I discovered that I could change the “set” and scripts by which I could live my life in a different way. My awareness thus provided the threshold that gave me the ability to create a new set of script and messages to inspire, motivate, encourage, empower and provide hope.
In the event that you find yourself being limited by scripts or messages, I would encourage you to examine those scripts and messages. Messages or scripts that you or other people may be or have told you for many years. People who may no longer be living. Scripts or messages that may have been passed down to you from people who were misinformed themselves. Examining the origins of these scripts will help you to make peace with your past. Not only can we make peace with our past, but we can begin to recognize when people seek to limit or stymie us with similar scripts or messages.
By being aware, making peace with our past and by taking note of what we or other people may be are telling us, we can change those limiting scripts and messages. We can change those limiting scripts and messages to scripts and messages that inspire, encourage, motivate, empower and give us hope. Through being aware, making peace with our past and by continuing to take note of what we are telling ourselves, we can create a good life for ourselves. Through making peace with our past and by continuing to take note of what we are telling ourselves we can follow our dreams.
Below are a list of several limiting scripts and messages that we may need to be aware of as we move forward with our lives.
Life Limiting Scripts
1. What I think does not matter.
2. What I feel does not matter.
3. No one will care.
4. Don’t trust your perception.
5. Don’t feel your anger if you are mad.
6. I don’t care.
7. It doesn’t matter anyway.
8. Nothing ever works out for me.
9. Relationships just don’t work out for me.
10. Life has got to be hard.
11. I can’t have…
12. I must be…
13. Good girls always do what other people want.
14. A man must take care of everyone.
15. Children are to be seen not heard.
16. Be right.
17. I must perfect.
18. Be good.
19. You think you have it bad. When I was your age I did not have…
20. You are as selfish as your father was…
21. You are as cold as your mother was…
22. You are not good enough.
23. I am not pretty enough.
24. I am not smart enough.
25. I am not talented enough.
26. Do for us (your parents/significant other) and do without.
27. Always obey the authority.
28. Never question the rules.
29. Don’ think for yourself.
30. Speak only when you are spoken to.
31. Being emotional is weak.
32. The only thing that matters is wealth and intelligence.
33. People are disposable.
34. Some people are made to be used.
35. Spirituality is for kooks.
36. God does not love me.
37. I have to perform to be lovable.
38. I only exist to be beaten.
39. Don’t talk.
40. Don’t trust.
41. Don’t Feel.
42. I can’t be happy unless you are…
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