Below are several of the valuable recovery lessons that I learned and shared with a support group during my presentation.
Yesterday, I wrote an article to share points that I shared from my experience, strength and hope during a presentation to a support group on Saturday, May 30, 2015. Because of the length of the article, I decided today to divide the article in 2 parts. Below is Part 2 of the article. If you have not already read Part 1 of the article, I would encourage you to do so by clicking on this link:
As shared in Part 1 of this article, as you read the article and questions come to mind, please send those questions to me. All questions are good question. All questions are welcomed.
Second Chance to Live — Lessons Learned and Shared with a Support Group Part 2
I can learn how to talk, trust and feel through sharing my experience, strength and hope and by listening to other people share their experience, strength and hope. I have the power to choose in life. When I am being critical of other people, I am usually being critical of myself. If I am at peace with myself, I find that I am usually at peace with other people. My perceptions are usually impacted by the way in which I frame my experience. Consequently, as I change the way that I frame my experience, my perceptions change. If some one throws me the ball (wants me to engage in some way that is not productive) and I do not catch the ball, the game is over. I don’t have to engage in the drama or the argument. I have come to realize that when I am getting a double message from someone, that entails “come close, go away” that I am participating in crazy making. My own crazy making. With my awareness, I need to detach myself from such relationships.
My experience has taught me that if I do not detach myself, these relationships do not end well for me.
Approval seeking and people pleasing are red flags for me. If I find myself engaging in these behaviors, I need to examine my motivations and ask, “What am I wanting / seeking to gain from the approval seeking and people pleasing?”. People pleasing and approval seeking are indicators that I need to make peace with myself. I am enough, just for today. Humility is not humiliation as humility encourages identification, but humiliation promotes comparison. I needed to make peace with God, by making peace with my Dad. I need to remember that the life that I am living is not a dress rehearsal. What I do with my time between the Dash (date born — date deceased) matters. I can have a significant impact upon my generation, one day at a time. I need to remember to not give up on my dreams, although I may have to modify how I go about achieving / realizing my dreams.
Although I may have people in my life who are unable to “get it”, for what ever reason; I need to remember that I am the one who needs to” get it”.
I need to remember what St. Francis of Assisi stated in his prayer, “…it is better to understand than to be understood”. As I grow in my ability to understand, through growing in self-awareness; I grow in my capacity to show compassion to both other people and myself. With this awareness, I need to let it begin with me. I need to do the work to change my understanding, perspective and attitudes, instead of waiting for another person to change so that I can be happy. I need to remember that as a butterfly needs to struggle to strengthen its wings to be able to fly, so do I need to struggle, through my rehabilitation and recovery process; to strengthen my creative capacity to learn and grow as an individual to accomplish the mission, vision and destiny for which I was created to fulfill during my time here. With this awareness, I need to keep stepping up to the plate in my life and keep swinging. I need to keep learning from what occurs in my life and remember that there is no such thing as failure, only opportunities to learn from what does not work for me, in order to figure out what does work for me.
“Those who improve with age embrace the power of personal growth and personal achievement and begin to replace youth with wisdom, innocence with understanding, and lack of purpose with self-actualization.”Bo Bennett
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