Through my recovery process, I had a spiritual awakening. I came to realize that I was not living my life, but merely surviving in order to maintain the conflict and the drama. The answers to my questions came from my willingness to be honest — with myself. Through my recovery process, I discovered why I felt the need to assume the role that had been given to me. I discovered that I had unconsciously assumed that I needed to take responsibility and carry other people’s shame, irritability, restlessness and discontent. I also discovered why I sought to justify the role that I was living on a daily basis — because I was led to believe that I was the reason for the dis-ease.
Through my struggle I discovered that I no longer needed to live in the drama, nor participate in behaviors that defined the role.
By identifying the behaviors that kept me stuck in the role, I was able to slowly change those behaviors and in the process break free from the confines of the role. As a result, I was able to stop taking responsibility for matters that were clearly out of my control. By doing so I was slowly able to let go of my over developed sense of responsibility. With time I also learned to give people the dignity to be responsible for their restlessness, irritability and discontent. With this awareness and action I was slowly able to break free from the role and the yoke that once controlled my world.
Through breaking free from the role of a scapegoat I was able to break free from the clutches of denial and in the process learn to live as a Traumatic Brain Injury Thrivor not merely as a traumatic brain injury survivor.
Please read the 4th and final part of this series. Thank you.
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