Hi and welcome back to my table. I am glad you decided to drop by and visit with me. Earlier today, while eating lunch I was surfing through some TV Stations and came across a reality based program…Extreme Makeovers. From what I understand, a person is selected to receive an extreme makeover. Once the person has been selected to receive the makeover, camera’s show up and the individual is surprised by being told, “You have been selected to receive an Extreme Makeover.”
Once the individual learns that they have been selected, a short vignette is shown introducing why the individual needs the makeover. After the vignette is shown, the extreme makeover is shown in stages. Towards the end of the program, the individual is presented to their friends and the TV audience. After the applauses and the encouraging words are shared the TV program ends, and the audience is led to believe that the individual has been“fixed” and “made whole” by the makeover.
I am not disparaging an external makeover, because I could benefit from a new wardrobe. Nevertheless, if I am waiting for a wardrobe change or some other external makeover to somehow magically make me to be OK with myself and other people I may never be OK with anyone. If I base my quality of life on my external presentation, I may find myself disheartened or discouraged when I do not quite measure up to an expecation.
My experience has taught me that when I base my worth or value on external validation I set myself up for failure because the proverbial bar for approval invariably gets raised. Perfection then becomes the illusion that is often measured outside of me. When I seek to qualify my worth by external validation, doing rather than being then becomes the measuring stick for my success and well being.
Through my experience, I have learned to place my value on my being rather than on my doing. External presentation then becomes an extension of who I am as a person, rather than as a representation of my being. My being defines who I am as a person. Having this awareness frees me from the task of needing to be made over to be made whole. As a unique being I do not have to be more than I am.
Having a disability does not limit or diminish our worth or value my friend. In essence, our disabilities become the very abilities that set us apart. When we experienced our traumatic brain injuries we entered a supernatural dimension. We were given a tremendous opportunity to grow in ways that will enable us to be a blessing to those individuals who have yet to experience a traumatic brain injury.
We can grow where we are planted and we do not have to be made over to be enough. We can be comfortable in our own skin. We can run our own race and we can make the most of what remains. Be encouraged my friend, because your circumstances are not meant to keep you down, but they are meant to build you up! More will be revealed.
As you listen to, watch or read my articles and questions come to mind, please send those questions to mind. All questions are good questions. In the event that you would like to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you. You may send your question (s) or comment (s) by clicking on this link: Contact Page
I look forward to hearing from you.
Craig
Receive more articles like this one simply by clicking on Subscribe to Second Chance to Live by email.
Subscribe to Second Chance to Live, Bookmark and Share Second Chance to Live with your friends through a Feed Reader
All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be, copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs CC BY-NC-ND
Jan says
Hi Craig:
I found your site during the holidays, while you were away, and read most Of My Journey Thus Far, Flight of The Butterflies, and Changing Font Sizes etc. It was like finding someone who understands…
Since then I have mentioned to Dr’s., Chiropractor’s etc., that my goal, is to “Have a Second Chance to Live”, with an “Invisible Disability”. All were impressed bye the way…
I believe on Jan. 2, 2008, I submitted a couple of comments, with regards to the above subjects, but since, I haven’t seen a response… So now I can’t help but wonder, if I was dreaming I did, or sleep typing at my computer (he he).
Hope to hear from you. Jan
secondchancetolive says
Hi Jan,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to leave the comments. I do not know if I received those comments. I arrived back into town late January 3. I make it a point to respond to the comments that I receive. I am sorry for the clitch. I am very interested in your comments and if I can help in anyway, I would love to give feed back from my experience, strength and hope. If you have those comments, please resend them to to me and I will respond. I look forward to hearing from you my friend.
Thank you for telling your Chiropractor’s about Second Chance to Live and my posts. My goal is to encourage, motivate and empower my readers to live life on life’s terms… one day at a time.
I look forward to hearing back from you Jan.
Until then, God bless you.
Craig
Jan says
Hi Craig, Jan here.
From what I have read on your site so far, you do much more than motivate, encourage and empower your readers.
In my eyes, you are more like the Beacon of Light emitting from a Lighthouse, beaming in the darkness, to show the way to those of us
who feel lost in the sea of uncertainty….
I thank you, for shining out to me… Jan