Welcome back. I am happy you decided to stop by to visit. Yesterday I introduced several ideas that may have puzzled some of my readers. I am speaking of the false self and the true self. I first became aware of this concept while reading Alice Miller’s book, The Drama of the Gifted Child. In her book, Alice uses the Legend of Narcissus to illustrate how many people discard parts of themselves to keep from displeasing a love object. The false self presents to the love object what is expected, so as to not displease and thus experience the threat of emotional and / or physical abandonment. Emotional withholding can be used as a tool to manipulate another person for selfish reasons.
Nevertheless, once the dynamic is established maintaining the false self becomes a softer and easier way of living. The consequence of individuating and demonstrating any unique creative expression is often met with resistance. As a result, parts of who we are has to be discarded in order to keep from losing the love object.
When I discussed reclaiming parts of myself that had been discarded, I was referring to discovering who I was created to become in this life. Several years ago I decided that my opinion mattered most. I decided that my desire to find out who I was created to become in this life was more important than seeking to maintain the love and approval of any love object. I determined to go through the pain of abandonment rather than continue to be cooked by complacency, while my creative uniqueness withered and died.
As a traumatic brain injury survivor, I had to figure this out on my own. I synthesized information from many different sources to gain the awareness that I have shared with you in the preceding paragraphs. The awareness of the false self / true self, in combination with my understanding of toxic shame provided a key that opened the door that changed my world. These two spiritual awakenings revolutionized my life. I am excited to be able to share these truths with you. I look forward to our times together. Thanks so much for stopping by today.
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