To watch and listen to a video presentation of this article, click on this link: Living with Right Frontal Lobe Damage and a Decision that Changed my Life Video Presentation
In 1967, when I was 10 years old. I was in an automobile accident. In the accident I sustained an open skull fracture with right frontal lobe damage.
To read about my process and journey living with right frontal lobe damage, click: About
When I reached a point in my life through grieving what I could not change (the impact of my brain injury, deficits and limitations) I made a decision.
I made a decision that changed the course of my life. In June 2019 I wrote an article to share how I made the decision and the impact of that decision.
Below is a revised copy of the article.
In today’s article I would like to share a decision that changed my life.
A decision that helped me to break free the notion that my life was stuck. That my life was linked to and limited by what I could not change.
Break free from the belief that I could do nothing to change the course of my life.
A decision that helped me to discover that I no longer had to stay stuck. Stay stuck by focusing on what I could not change to start working on what I could change.
A decision that helped me to realize that I could re-set the course of my life.
The Power of My Decision
In the process of making this decision something became very clear to me. I had more power than I realized. And this power gave me the freedom to no longer see myself as merely a survivor. Merely a survivor of my right frontal lobe damage and my circumstances.
Below are several awareness’ that changed my life
What I discovered was that by having the mindset of a “survivor” I focused on what I could no longer do with my life.
What I discovered was that having the mindset of a “survivor” I nurtured a victim mentality.
What I discovered was that by having the mindset of a “survivor” I bought into the notion that I was limited by my limitations and deficits.
What I discovered was that by having the mindset of a “survivor” I did not consider the possibilities of what I could do with my life.
What I discovered was that by having the mindset of a “survivor” I bought into the notion that I deserved to be labeled, stereotyped, and stigmatized.
What I discovered was that by having the mindset of a “survivor” I bought into the notion that I deserved to be kept in a “box”. In a box given by the label, stereotype, and stigmatization.
What I discovered was that by having the mindset of a “survivor” I traded my opinion. My opinion of what I could accomplish with what the “professional and provider” community told me I could or could not accomplish.
What I discovered was that by having the mindset of a “survivor” I never considered that I had other options. I never realized that I could create a good life despite my deficits and limitation.
Today’s Thought
We can move beyond the “box” of a system, that by design seeks to define who we are as individuals.
Define who we are as individuals through a diagnosis, a treatment plan and a prognosis.
We can move beyond the mindset, that leads us to believe that we are limited as “survivors”.
We can move beyond a mindset, that leaves us feeling like prisoners, in our own skin.
We can move beyond a mindset, that perpetuates a stereotype and stigmatization that leaves us questioning our worth, value and significance.
We can live our lives beyond a mindset, that keeps us focused on our limitations. We can move beyond a mindset, that leads us to believe that we have few choices.
We can move beyond a mindset, that minimizes and marginalizes who we are as individuals. We can move beyond a mindset, that dismisses, discounts and does not take us seriously.
We can move beyond a mindset that leads us to believe that we simply are not enough, because…
We can move beyond a mindset, that shows us little respect and serves to offer us little hope.
The Good News
We no longer have to remain trapped by a “survivor” mindset. We can live our lives beyond the confines of diagnosis, a treatment plan, and a prognosis. We can live beyond the grasp of a stereotype and a societal stigmatization. We can live beyond the “voices”, that seek to undermine our hopes, dreams, and destinies.
Quotes that Inspire Me to Realize the I am More than Merely a Survivor
“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” Helen Keller
“Insist on yourself, never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another, you have only an extemporaneous half-possession…Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” B.C. Forbes
“Regardless of your lot in life, you can build something beautiful on it.” Zig Ziglar
“Don’t judge your day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” Robert Louis Stevenson
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Theodore Roosevelt
“Absorb what is useful, reject what is useless and add specifically your own creation.” Bruce Lee
“If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau
“I will prepare and someday my chance will come.” Abraham Lincoln
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” Zig Ziglar
“Decision is the spark that ignites action. Until a decision is made, nothing happens.” Wilfred A. Peterson
“Our circumstances are not meant to keep us down, but they are meant to build us up.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
“Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.” Zig Ziglar
“In my experience, I have found that adversity is what has made me successful because I refused to give up because of adversity.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi
“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” Mother Teresa
Wayne Jones says
I was thirteen
Second Chance to Live says
Yes. 10 years old for me. Now 65 years old. Don’t give up my friend. Keep doing the footwork and trusting a loving God with the outcomes. One day at a time. Here are several quotes that encourage me. “Every one is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid>” Albert Einstein and “It is not that I am so smart. It is just that I stay with problems longer.” Albert Einstein and “If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life you imagined, you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau and “Don’t judge your day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” Robert Louis Stevenson. Don’t give up. More will be revealed with time. God bless you and your family, Wayne. Craig
Second Chance to Live says
One day at a time. More will be revealed. God’s got a good plan for our lives, otherwise we would not still be here on planet earth. “Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believe that it is stupid.” Albert Einstein. Discovering and developing our genius is a lift long process. Here is a list of resources that I have created that you may find to be helpful. https://secondchancetolive.org/second-chance-to-live-resources-to-create-hope-after-brain-injury/. Have a great day. Wayne. Craig