To listen to and watch the video presentation of the article, click on the this link: Dispelling the Notion of Dis-ability — I Just Do Things in Ways that Work For Me Video Presentation
To watch a slideshow presentation of this article, click on this link: Dispelling the Notion of Dis-ability — I Just Do Things in Ways…Slideshow Presentation
Recently a friend left a comment to one of my articles. I responded to his comment by writing this article, Dispelling the Notion of Disability — I Just Do Things in Ways that Work for Me.
The Article
“I can definitely identify with you on this front. I attempted to prove that I was “not” disabled for many years. I did so in an attempt to prove that I was not “defective”, that there was not something “wrong” with me and as a result, I was worth loving and given respect.”
In my experience, I had to reach a point when the pain of denying my reality had to supersede my need to deny my reality. Deny my reality in an attempt to prove that there was nothing “defective” or “wrong”with me.
What I needed to Do
In my experience, I had to confront my denial — despite feeling defective and as though there was some thing wrong with me. In my experience, I had to confront my denial before I could begin to love and accept myself as an individual.
The Process
In my experience, I discovered that I needed to move through the 5 stages of grieving, as spoken to by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book; On Death and Denying.
The five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
In my experience, I discovered that I needed to confront both my denial and the denial of family and friends before I could challenge the notion of dis-ability.
In my experience, I discovered that I needed to work through the stages of grieving before I could consider the possibilities of my ability.
Reaching a Point of Acceptance
In my exper ience, I had to work through the 1st 4 stages, to be able to get to a place of acceptance; before I could stop defending myself for having experienced a brain injury.
In my experience, I needed to get to a place of acceptance before I could begin to see that I was not defective or that there was some thing wrong with me because I experienced a brain injury.
In my experience, I needed to work on learning how to accept that I am powerless over the injury to my brain, while at the same time understanding that I am not not helpless.
In my experience, as I began to realize that I was and am not helpless, I saw a “light” at the end of the proverbial “tunnel”.
The light helped me to realize that I could get into action to realize my capacity to do things (create hope in my life) in ways that would work for me.
Getting into Action
The light helped me to realize that I could create a life for myself, within my reality.
The light helped me to realize that I could empower my life and, in turn; encourage other people to see the “light” at the end of their “proverbial tunnel”.
The light at the end of the proverbial tunnel that helped me to realize, that although I may have a disability; I am not dis-abled.
The light at the end of the tunnel that helped me to realize that I could create a good life for myself.
“I am not dis-abled. I just do things in ways that work for me.” Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
Today’s Thought
In the event that you are living with a disability, my encouragement to you my friend is to not give up.
Do not focus on the “dis” of disability but focus on”ability”.
Look for ways to use the ability that you possess.
The ability to use your passion through your skills, talents and abilities in ways that will work for you.
Time and Commitment
Your search to find a way to use your ability may take time, but be encouraged.
The process took time for me.
Lots of time, but I am glad that I did not give up.
Try Something New
My encouragement to you is to try something new.
Keep searching until you find a way that will work for you. .
Stay committed to your process and don’t give up.
AND, you will see your life flourish.
Quotes that Empower Ability
“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.” Winston Churchill
“Don’t give up at half time. Concentrate on winning the second half.” Paul Bryant
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” Alice Walker
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” Steve Jobs
“The secret to happiness is freedom… And the secret to freedom is courage.” Thucydides
“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” Confucius
“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Bruce Lee
“Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self.” Karen Salmansohn
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.” Eckhart Tolle
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Glen says
I have a severe traumatic brain injury and worked at the Broward County Clerk of Court (FL) for 4 years.
I had a seizure and was fired.
I fought against the court by myself and guess who won.
The EEOC office was in the courthouse and I did not receive the help I needed.
I also asked for an impartial jury and was denied.
The Clerk Mr. Howard Forman personally hired me knowing of my disability.
Second Chance to Live says
Hi Glen,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to leave a comment and for what you shared with me. That is fantastic with what you have overcome. You are an inspiration, Sir.
Have a great weekend.
Craig
Thamodi says
I had an ABI (acquired brain injury) of no known cause. Was in hospital for 6 months due to this. 4 months in the ICU where I was in this ‘comatic state’not even blinking let alone responding to ANY of the drugs the 24 neurologists were giving me! Then I started showing improvement! So then transferred to this other hospital where I had to relearn EVERYTHING from walking to talking to even eating and drinking cuz I was being fed by a tube that was up. My. Nose. That was removed cuz of obvious dangers. But yeah another surgery was done on my small intestine where another feeding tube was implanted. I had that in me on discharge! But yeah the doctors found no infectious agent! But my immune system was implying there was one! But yeah now I’m other this out of hospital rehabilitation where I just go the gym. And I know that the. Brain. Does. Change! And you can control that change! 🤗 With diet and EXERCISE!
Second Chance to Live says
Thank you for sharing this with me. You are an inspiration, Thamodi!!! Neuroplasticity has been a big part of my process, I believe too. Lots of wax on, wax off — like the Karate Kid Movie. Check out my article. Here is a link to the article: https://secondchancetolive.org/neuroplasticity-small…/. Please share the article with anyone you believe who could benefit. Thank you. Thank you again for sharing your process with me!!! Craig
Glen says
This case is of great importance to 54 million U.S disabled including veterans. If the courts win this case then there are no laws.
Mark Cook says
I enjoyed and learned some interesting things reading this article. I am interested in the 5 stages you mentioned. I am still working through them. I hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I wondered what the Bargaining stage is? I’m sorry I don’t know this but I feel it important. Thank you, Craig!
Second Chance to Live says
Hi Mark,
Thank you for your comment. Great question. As I understand, when I got to the stage of bargaining I tried to disprove what I had spent many years denying. Although I realized what I could not change when I confronted my denial and experienced anger as a result, in my last ditch effort I tried to bargain (find a way to disprove what I realized I could not change) my way out of being powerless.
When I reached a point in time when I realized that I could do nothing to change being powerless started to experience depression. The next stage in the process of grieving. As I work through my depression, I am able to begin to accept my powerless. As I grew in acceptance I was able to get into action. By getting into action, I began to realize that I had more choice than I realized. I hope this explanation helps you. Let me know, Mark.
Thank you, Mark.
Craig