Approximately 6 or 7 days ago I was presented with an opportunity to speak at a conference. After speaking with my conference contact, I became concerned about the uncertainty of the flight times, multiple time zone changes, layover times and destination arrival times.
With my concerns of the flight times, multiple time zone changes, layover times and destination arrival times, I sought counsel from various individuals. In the process of seeking out different peoples perspectives I found that a few of these individuals minimized and marginalized my concerns. Nevertheless, I made the decision to ask for what I needed from the conference committee. When I shared my decision, I received criticism for my decision.
When I shared my decision, I received criticism for my decision from a few individuals whom I sought to receive counsel in making my decision.
When I received the criticism from these individuals, I experienced feelings of shame. Shame for making the wrong decision, although my the decision to ask to be brought a day earlier was not unreasonable, given the uncertainty of the flight times, multiple time zone changes, layover times and destination arrival times. With their criticism I found myself caught like a deer in the headlights because I internalized their criticism of my decision.
I internalized their criticism of my decision because I traded my awareness of my reality and my subsequent needs with their judgment of my reality and my needs. In the process, I found myself judging my reality and my decision to ask for what I need. I judged my reality – as a traumatic brain injury survivor — because I bought into the messages necessary to maintain the denial, that their perspective of my reality is right and mine is wrong.
Lessons That I Learned through my Experience
What I learned through my above experience reinforced that I need to stay true to myself in my reality. What I learned through my experience, reinforced that if other peoples’ attitudes and perspectives’ suggest that I buy back into the denial of my reality, I need to see such attitudes and perspectives as red flags. What I learned through my experience reinforced that I need to recognize that I am the only one who can take care of myself.
What I learned through my experience reinforced that I need to not ask the opinions of people who have shown that they do not accept my reality and my subsequent needs. What I learned through my experience reinforced that I need to be kind, be brief and shift the subject if my decision comes up in future conversations. What I learned reinforced that in the future I need to not engage these individual in the process of making decisions.
With everything there is a learning curve.
You have my permission to share my articles and or video presentations with anyone you believe could benefit, however please attribute me as being the author of the article (s) video presentation (s), and provide a link back to the article (s) on Second Chance to Live. In the event that you have questions, please send those questions to me. All questions are good questions. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you. Copyright 2007-2015.
Second Chance to Live says
Hi Aloy,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to write to me and to share your comment. I am honored by your time and kindness. I am not sure if you are aware my friend but I have a Site Map for my Articles that has a list of links to the articles that I have written Aloy. Here is a link to my Site Map for my Articles http://wp.me/P3atD-1H. I also have a video presentations that I have made and uploaded to You Tube. Here is a link to my Site Map for my You Tube Video Presentations http://wp.me/P3atD-3B3. To read the articles or watch the video presentations, please click on the title(s) of the article or video presentation (s) and the article (s) or video presentation (s) will open for you Aloy. As you read the articles or watch and listen to the video presentations and articles come to mind, please send those questions to me my friend. All questions are good questions.
If you are on Face Book and would like to become a member of the Second Chance to Live Group on Facebook, please click on this link https://www.facebook.com/groups/301059819914829/ and let me know and I will make you a member my friend.
In the event that I can help in some other way through Second Chance to Live, please let me know Aloy. I will do my best to help you.
I live in the states so I can not give you a call. I live on a fixed SSDI check and can not afford to call over seas. Thank you for your phone # though my friend.
I will say so long for now.
Have a pleasant and peaceful evening Aloy.
Craig
Sir may God bless you and give you more inspiration to education people like us who decision is difficult for them to make even when they no the truth. Thank sir and please give more . This is my phone no 07038859539
Craig
Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
Second Chance to Live
secondchancetolive.org
Sharing Hope in the Face of Adversity
Follow me on: Twitter: http://twitter.com/#%21/secondchancetol
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#%21/SecondChancetoLive
Facebook: Second Chance to Live Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/301059819914829/
You Tube Presentations: http://www.youtube.com/user/2dogbull?feature=mhee
Our circumstances are not meant to keep us down, but to build us up.